Nature's Law
by sweet-surrender5
Summary: GSR. Post Grave Danger: What happened after than ambulance left? Grissom comes to his senses but not after some confusion. Ch. 17 up What's Nick going to do about the 'situation' ?
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer -- they aint mine.

a/n: hey guys! heres a new fic. more serious then the last, for sure. i'm kind of trying my hand at these ones. this might be a little angsty at first, but itll be like a rollercoaster type thing...up down, up, down... hopfully you'll like it!

* * *

Grissom stared after the ambulance as it roared down the dirt road between rows and rows of nursery trees. He was tired; emotionally, physically, mentally. This had been one of the longest days of his entire life. He almost lost a friend, nearly got blown up (twice) and he'd been working for nearly 30 hours straight.

"I want my guys back."

He stood beside Ecklie, Brass, Greg and Sara, watching as Nick Stokes was rushed to hospital after an utterly scary terrifyingly close call. Warrick and Catherine had gone with him to Desert Palms..

Ecklie was feeling awkward as always around the nightshift crew. Not knowing what else to do, he walked off in direction of the sheriff's cruiser. Brass made to follow reluctantly, knowing that his duties as the detective on case weren't yet over.

"Well…" He said, sighing. "He's safe now, thanks to you guys. Good job." He patted Gil on the back before making his way after Ecklie.

Greg, obviously weary and traumatized by the horrifying experience they had all just had, rubbed his face with his hands. Grissom knew what he was thinking. Years of watching, listening observing, and analyzing had its benefits. He could often read people like books.

'Greg…Go home. You're tired. You've done enough. It's…its over."

Greg just nodded. Walking away, he turned over his shoulder. "I'm glad…" He started, his voice coming out a little squeaky with emotion. "…I'm glad we got him back. Good job guys." And with that, he disappeared into the darkness, leaving Grissom with one of the seldom few people he **couldn't** read like a book.

Grissom and Sara stood side by side, staring into the black abyss of the Nevada landscape. They said nothing for a few moments, simply going over what had just happened. Looking around, Grissom realized that no one was around anymore. It was just him, Sara, and that gaping hole in the ground where Nick had been buried alive.

_That hole could have been Nick's grave…_

"Griss," Sara started, still staring off into the distance, lost in thoughts, "It was a good thing you kept your head on. No one else could have thought of a way to get him out without being blown up…I couldn't…"

His mouth twitched a little before he said anything, "I…I almost lost it. I have no idea what made me think of using the backhoe…"

Sara was a little shocked at Grissom's open display of emotion. Then again, she was trying hard to deal with hers too.

"What…what if, Grissom? What if you hadn't thought to use the backhoe? What if--"

Grissom interrupted her.

"Sara--"

"No, Griss. What if we hadn't have found him--" She turned to him, eyes watering a little.

"Sara, don't talk like that. We found him, it's done. And he'll be just fine. Nick's a tough guy. And I saw that tonight. I'm not worried about him…" Grissom said, speaking only words of truth.

_Nick's a tough guy, soft on the inside with a good head on his shoulders…_

"But to be honest; I'm more concerned about you." He said softly, turning to her, "Are you okay? Honestly. Tell me the truth." He asked, putting a hand on her arm. She blinked away the tears of emotion that had been burning in the back of her eyes all night, threatening to fall.

"So all of a sudden you care how I am? Grissom, Nick almost died today. _You_ almost died today! I should be the least of your worries," Sara said sharply. Grissom squeezed her arm gently.

"Sara, hey…what do you mean, all of a sudden? I always care how you are. Nick is okay, I'm okay. I just want to be sure that you're okay too."

Sara, to be honest was on the verge of a breakdown. She was angry, tired, stressed, and she didn't want pity.

"Grissom, you've only ever cared because it was your responsibility. You only show any amount of compassion when something terribly wrong happens. You don't care unless you need to!" Sara shouted, trying to wrench her arm from his grasp. He just grabbed her other arm as well, willing her not to leave so upset.

"No! You're wrong Sara! I care about you! I care about you, damnit!" Grissom yelled back, his voice full of emotion. He felt her stop struggling, his words grabbing her attention. Grissom breathed out, his shoulders sagging a little, releasing his grip on her arms.

"Sara…I really do care. I…I care about you. Just…I'm not the greatest with people, okay? I want to make sure you're okay. And I need your cooperation to do that," Grissom said quietly. Sara, swiping a small tear from her cheek before Grissom could see it.

"I seriously don't know anymore. Grissom…I'm confused, and I'm scared. That could have been any one of us in that situation, for god's sake." Sara managed to choke out. She tried her hardest to sound strong, but her attempt came out feebler than she would have wanted.

_Damn. Yet another breakdown in front of Grissom. _

"Look. I know you're tired, I'm tired. But please come with me Sara. I don't want to leave you alone like this. You're obviously upset," Grissom said, pleading for her to come with him.

The thought of Sara crying alone in her empty apartment was too much for Grissom. He _did_ care about her. More than he often let show. He wasn't opening up to a relationship, but he was looking for at least friendship. Their relationship had been rocky the past while, and it tore them both up to see it.

"No, Grissom really, I'll be okay. You don't need to…" Sara said. She was really upset now. She was tired, confused and stressed to the max. And that was taking its toll on her. She couldn't hold in the tiny sob that came out of her throat. Or the tear that slipped down her pale cheek, blazing a trail where the salty liquid washed away the layer of dust placed there from the explosion.

This didn't go unnoticed by Grissom. He saw the moonlight reflected off of the single perfect tear making its way down her face. Before he could think his hand was there to catch the tear before it made its way to the ground. His thumb wiped it away and he caressed her cheek for a moment.

Then came another tear, slipping between Grissom's calloused but soft fingers. Grissom felt a pang from deep inside of his stomach. He hated to see her so upset.

"Sara, come here," he said, opening his other arms to her. Tentatively, but in need of comfort and consolement, she slipped her body into his arms. He held her tight, his hand slowly making circles on her back while her tears made salty spots on his shirt.

_God it feels good to hold her…_

"Shh, shh. Sara its okay," he cooed to her. Sara felt so much better in his arms. Although she felt like she was three again, she needed that kind of fatherly comfort right now. And Grissom was the one to give it. He pulled away slightly, holding her arms.

"Honey…come with me, please?" He asked. She backhanded her wet cheeks and offered a nod. Together, they made their way to the Denali, Grissom's hand in its rightful place on her back.

* * *

a/n: please review! ideas welcome! new chap will be up tomorrow! thanks 


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: hello! im so glad with all the feedback that i thought i'd update early...that and sparklin-strawberries (lmfao em) wont let me be until i update. so here it is. and to clear things up, a) im not british. and b) this does NOT portray griss as fatherly. well i hope it doesn't... feedback please!

* * *

Sara was wrapped in a blanket sitting on Grissom's leather couch. She could see him busying him self in the kitchen, making hot chocolate for the both of them. She pulled the blanket closer around herself, feeling slightly self conscious for some reason. She'd only been in Grissom's townhouse once, and that had been for a case.

She felt better now that her little breakdown was over. She hated breaking down in front of Grissom. It happened all too much. The Strip Strangler case, her DUI, the Adam Trent case…

_He probably thinks I'm so weak. I always break down when he's around. Then again, he's the only one who can put me back together..._

Grissom brought two steaming mugs of hot chocolate into the living room area, handing one to Sara. He looked into her eyes and saw pain in them for one fleeting moment, then it was replaced with a placid look of practised numbness.

_She's been through so much in her life…she didn't deserve it. She's a smart, intelligent, amazing woman…_

Grissom stopped himself, realizing that his brain was going places where he didn't want to explore at the moment. He sat down opposite her in an armchair.

"Feel better?" He asked softly. She took a sip from the mug and nodded.

"Good." He said, mirroring her and taking a sip too. Normally, Grissom wasn't a hot chocolate drinker, but he had a feeling it would be better than tea or coffee…less caffeine. And plus, he thought Sara might enjoy it.

"Sara…I'm not a people person. And it's not that I only care about you when I have too. I care, I just have trouble…expressing that. If I only cared about you as a supervisor, you wouldn't be here." He said. Sara thought about it for a second.

_As in his apartment 'here'? Or Vegas 'here? Or emotionally 'here'? God, the man is so confusing!_

She sighed. She shouldn't have burst out on him like that. But honestly, Gil Grissom could get on peoples nerves sometimes.

"I _know_ you care. I shouldn't have said that…I'm sorry," She said, setting down her mug. She looked out the window to see the sun just beginning to rise, no more than a purple haze seeping over the mountains. So beautiful in its wondrous morning ritual. Sometimes...sometimes just when she thought coming to Vegas was a bad idea, something like this happened. Grissom would open up, she'd get a promotion...she'd realize just how beautiful it was here.

"You know…I don't think what they think..." She said so quietly Grissom almost didn't hear her. "I don't think that you don't have feelings, or you're a 'robot', Grissom. I…I think you have a big heart." She spoke the latter a little louder.

Grissom was slightly taken aback at this statement. Sara thought he had a heart! She was pretty much the only one who had ever said that to him. He wanted her to see that big heart, to be a part of it, but it was so hard to get past the walls he had put up around it. But bit by bit, over the years, she had wormed her way in.

"You're the only one who thinks that, I'm afraid." He said, equally as quiet.

_Gil, get a grip! _His head screamed. Sara had his feelings going crazy. How did she do this? How could she get inside his mind, make him believe that nothing could go wrong if he let his feelings show...One part of him wanted to be with her, and the other wanted him to live his life of solitude. And for the first time, the first half was out-winning the second.

He looked at her, sitting on his couch wrapped in his blanket. She looked exhausted, yet utterly beautiful in an odd sort of way. Then again, she always looked beautiful to Grissom. Her hair fell about her face, framing her dark eyes perfectly. There was only one thing on his mind.

_She needs me. She needs this heart…she's trying to tell me that…_

And that was exactly what Sara had meant, although she didn't know Grissom would figure it out. She was completely and utterly unsure of his feelings for her. Some days she was sure of his feelings toward her, then the next she was just another face, just another person.

"You're _not_ okay, are you Sara?" Grissom said, getting up and slowly taking a seat beside her on the couch. She stared at her hands, bringing forth his memory of her DUI.

_I hate seeing her like this. She needs me…_He felt a strong pull from his stomach.

With this revelation, Grissom placed one hand under her chin, gently pulling her to look into his eyes. They searched her face, looking for what he needed to know. He found it. Her eyes said it all. She needed to be fixed, and he realized he needed to be the one to fix her.

She shivered a little at his touch; almost a lover's caress. She bit the inside of her lip at the feeling of being under his strong gaze. His eyes were so intense, so serious, so emotional. She could see raw emotion in those cerulean blue irises.

"You're not okay." He said again, this time more of a statement, having seen the pain in her eyes. He then proceeded to do the only thing that he could think of to help. He brought his face closer to hers, searching her eyes for permission. He found no objection, and his lips softly met hers in one beautiful moment that neither would forget.

Grissom's hand found its way to the delicate skin between her jaw line and neck. It was a slow kiss, so chaste yet full of meaning. He pulled away after a moment, resting his head on top of hers. The rational part of his brain was yelling, '_What the hell are you doing?_ 'And the other was saying, _'Shut up. Shut up, Shut up, shut up. Nothing matters now, except her.'_

His head muddled with self-arguement, he held Sara until she fell asleep. He agreed with himself on one thing -- she needed him; and for now he was going to help her how he could.

* * *

a/n: yayyy, some good ol' gsr. hee hee -smiles shyly- we all love a good bout of gsr. some angst coming up, sorry but its gsr; you gotta expect it! don't worry, all shall work out! please please please revieww! 


	3. Chapter 3

_a/n: _hey! thanks of the amazing feedback guys. loving it. please keep it up because your comments really help me with the story! enjoy. thanks for your support to: anneruhland, lisab1986, sparklin-strawberries, ayesha84, and csigirl46. love you guys!_

* * *

What have I done? _

Grissom sped down a dirt back road in the desert. He frustratedly ran a hand through his curly hair, rubbing over one eye in that funny way that men have. Sara was back in his townhouse, no doubt waking up on his couch to find him gone.

It had been hard to leave her there, sleeping on his couch, fretfully tossing and turning, her brow crinkled and her eyes clamped shut. He knew because he'd only gotten two hours of sleep. The rest of the time he'd just sat there, watching the purple glow gracing her face turn to pink, then orange, thena firey red. The only thing he could do was watch.

Actually, he was sort of thankful that he didn't have to be there when she woke. It would make things more complicated than they already were. He needed the time to think. It wasthe very thinghe needed, but yet what he had so little of: **time**. It went by so quickly, and once it was gone, it never came back. At that never ceased to amaze him.

Grissom was confused, annoyed, angry…and in love. He couldn't remember feeling so many things at once. This was exactly what he was afraid of; finally opening up to Sara and…and…and losing all control over himself. He didn't like to be vulnerable, and that was exactly how he was feeling.

He'd opened up to Sara and there was no going back. For seven years, he had held Sara at arm's length, trying to keep himself sane. Because God only knew that if anything were to happen between them he'd lose all sanity. Seven years of keeping himself sane wasn't good enough for the night before, because watching Sara so broken up like that was too hard, and he'd let his arm collapse.

He didn't know what to feel. He couldn't think. It was overwhelming. He wanted to love Sara, but he was afraid. _Afraid of what? What are you afraid of, Gil?_ He could hear Sara's voice in his head.

_What **am **I afraid of?_ He argued with himself. After a moment, he shook himself out of it and punched on the radio. Soft piano music filled the Denali as it bumped its way along the dusty road. Blue eyes stared at blue skies and his muddled head cleared as he listened to the music.

* * *

"**_I tried to fight the feeling, the feeling took me down_**

_**I struggled and I lost the day you knocked me out.**_

_**Now everything's got meaning, the meanings bring me down**_

_**I'm watching as a screening of my life plays out…"**_

"**_Every day I fight these feelings,  
_****_For your sake I will hide the real thing,  
_****_You can run all your life, all mine I will chase..."_**

"**_You should never fight your feelings,  
When your very bones believe it,  
You should never fight your feelings,  
You have to follow nature's law…"

* * *

_**

Grissom turned off the radio so that he could think.

_Nature's Law, eh? Nature's Law…_ Grissom thought, ideas rolling around in his head. The song was appealing to the scientist in him.

_Shit, this is hard. As much as I want to love her…_

He looked at his hands gripped on the steering wheel. He'd embarked on a new journey. he didn't know where it was going, he didn't know where it would end. Grissom was controlling the wheel; he'd just started and he didn't know whether to go ahead or go back. He was stuck at a pit stop.

He'd fought his feelings for Sara for over seven years. Every day, like in the song, he'd tried to hide it. She'd finally broken down his walls, and he realized that she didn't _want_ him to be too late, and neither did he.

The irony suddenly hit him. Here he was, a CSI, on the right side of the law. And then on the other hand, he was on the wrong side of nature's law. A criminal.

* * *

a/n: done. hope the nature's law bit wasnt too cheesy. i dont really want to ruin the tone. please tell me if it did or didnt. and another thing: i don't really want to make sara seem weak in this story, thought it might come across that way. but i think that sara would be a little shook up after nick's incident. next chapter is focused on her, so im still tweaking. please leave some feedback! luv yas. 


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: thanks for the feedback, guys. you rock. oh and by the way, is anyone's wondering where the nature's law song came from, it's called 'Nature's Law' -- Embrace. I think it might get big over here in North America soon, so you should gove it a listen. anyway, thanks to **sparklin-strawberries** for beta reading this chapter, and so politely telling me that the brass part at end of the last chapter (and i quote) "blew ass chunks". thanks for the brutal (emphasis on _brutal) _honesty, dude. anyway, thanks for reading everyone.

* * *

Sara woke up, sleep muddling her brain in fragments of warped memories. 

_Nick inside that box…racing to find him…the explosion…the ambulance…_

Sara's body went rigid as more memories flooded her mind. Touch, sight, smell, hearing, taste...

_Grissom's hand on her cheek, his arms around her…him in his apartment, on his couch…Grissom's lips against hers…_

Her eyes flew open and she sat up straight. She found herself in Grissom's apartment, lying on his leather couch.

Alone.

Alone with his butterfly collection, alone with his almost-too-clean townhouse, alone with his collection of entymology textbooks.

Alone: like he was every day here.

She took a moment to briefly wonder if he liked being alone here. Without human contact...without her. Then she wondered if he would feel any different about being alone here now that she'd been in his towhouse with him. She knew she did, because once he'd come over after the Adam Trent case, the loneliness in her apartment had multiplied by ten. It was like he'd sucked all of the life out of there, and he could only refill it if he came back.

_Why would he just leave me here? _She thought, tears stinging the backs of her eyelids.

_Damn him. Damn Grissom. Trust him to kiss me like that and let me fall asleep with him, and then leave me alone. He's probably off somewhere right now trying not to think about it. Telling himself it never happened…_

Sara's mind jumped around, thinking of possibilities and jumping to conclusions. The tears threatened to fall.She blinked them away and her eyes refocused on a white post-it note on the coffee table.

* * *

_**Sara,**_

**_I'm on call, and Brass has a 420 for me. Get some rest. Help yourself to breakfast if you like._**

_**G.**_

**_P.S. Nick is fine, all is well at the hospital; don't worry.

* * *

_**

Sighing, she crumpled up the note. He _had_ left her. As always, job comes before relationship. Job comes before life. Of course, he had a convenient reason to leave…then again; having time away from her might be a good thing. Having time to get his priorities straight. Hopefully those priorities would lean in her favor now that they'd kissed.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her stomach growled loudly, no doubt because she hadn't eaten in…she counted back on her fingers.

_Ten hours. Add to that stress and crying…_ Her stomach growled again and she decided to take Grissom up on his offer of breakfast -- although she'd rather be sharing it with him. She plopped herself down at the breakfast bar. Munching on toast, she was surprised to see Grissom's voice-mail flashing red.

On.

Off.

On.

Off.

_Much like our relationship…_Sara thought; her tone sarcastic as usual. She then began to ponder whether or not to listen to the voice-mail.

_What if it's for me? But Grissom's a very personal guy…What if he gets mad? But what if it's about Nick?_ She argued with herself, until eventually just giving in and pressing the button. Grissom's voice floated through the room.

"**Hi…Sara…It's um, me. Sorry I had to leave. Crime waits for no man…"**

Sara smiled at his corny attempt-at-a-joke. Crime…Time…Rhyme…

_Only Grissom._

"**Anyway, I hope, er…I hope you got an okay sleep. Nicky's fine. Maybe…Maybe you'd be interested in visiting him? Call me back on my cell."**

Beeeeeep.

And that was it.

* * *

Grissom was just walking into the Crime Lab when his cell phone rang. The screen proclaimed Sara's name. He sighed, flipping it open with his chin. 

"Grissom." He said in his usual manner, not trying to sound biased because he knew it was her.

"Hey. Umm, it's Sara," She answered, a bit awkardly.

"Oh. Hey. So, you got my message, I take it?" He asked, keeping his voice low, not wanting to be overheard.

_I'm sure Ecklie would have a stroke if he knew where Sara is right now..._

"Yeah. Nick's doing well then?" Sara asked, secretly hoping that he would re-state his offer to take her to the hospital.

"Yeah," Grissom answered softly, a little touched at the relief in her voice, "Yeah, he's gonna be fine. Well, since you're trapped in my townhouse...do you want to see him before I give you a ride home? I'll be done here in...20 minutes?"

"Sounds good. Oh yeah, and Griss?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

And before he could answer, she had hung up.

* * *

The ride to the hospital had been a little awkward. They hadn't said much, Grissom had just told her what was going on with Nick and about the case he'd had. Of course, he wasn't ready to have an open conversation about what had happened the previous night. Sara just sat there, listening deafly as he talked, wondering when, no, _if _he'd even acknowledge what had happened and what he'd do about it. 

"Hey, guys!" Nick said cheerfully as he saw Grissom and Sara walk into his room.Grissom looked like a wreck, but Sara looked as she always did; tired, yet radiant in a hard-working sort of way. Nick often thought of Sara as his little sister. She was always getting herself into predicaments…with Catherine, with Ecklie…Grissom…

Grissom was a whole other story. You could have cut the sexual tension with a knife. No, scratch that; a _butter _knife.Nick knew that she had feelings for his boss. Heck, everyone knew she had feelings for him. If Grissom didn't know it, he'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb.

Which he wasn't. Well, at least the blind and dumb parts. Cath had spilled the beans about his hearing problems, but that wasn't of consiquence.

Nick had always been able to see the connection between the two; the unspoken dialogues, the silent gestures, the simple touches. He knew Grissom felt _something _for her, but for some reason didn't want to give in to them. And when they entered his room together that day, he was secretly rooting that he'd finally give in and see what a beautiful, amazing, intelligent woman he had.

After all, all he wanted was the best for his little sister.

* * *

All had gone well with Nick.With a little bit of therapy and some rest, he'd hopefully be fine. Sara looked at Grissom when they'd left the room. He looked tired. The intriguing blue sparkle in his eye that she'd fallen in love with was a little dimmer, his lovely pouting lips having a little less of that secret smile. She wanted to replace that sparkle, that smile, more than anything. 

Sara found that Grissom was like a small candle in the emmense darkness that was her life. He was the reason she'd come to Vegas...in hope that he could take that small candle and turn it into a fire. Albeit, he'd added a little fuel every so often, but she wanted more, craved more, needed more. And seeing him standing there after years of slowly adding fuel to the fire, she wanted to make sure that the fire didn't go out.

"Grissom?" She said quietly. He looked up and held her gaze, looking a little sad.

"About last night...I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but...thanks. Really. I appreciate it," She said, leaving the conversation open for him to talk about it or not. It was his choice. She knew him well enough to give him space.

Grissom's mouth opened as if to say something, his right arm coming up quickly, then descending in that classic look of indecision. He looked down at the floor, then his eyes shifted slowly back to hers. He sighed, caught in a mental limbo.

"Sara..." He started, leaning against the doorframe. Alarm bells went off in Sara's head, his actions triggering the memory of his rejection.

"I still don't know what to do about 'this'."

Sara felt her heart shrink at his words. Grissom watched the corners of her gorgeous wide lips suck in in hurt and dissappontment.

_Goddamnit, he's rejecting me again. Why was I so stupid to push it? _Sara thought, anger and indignation burning behind her eyes.

Grissom sighed again, running a hand throught his salt-and-pepper curls, then dropping his hand to run over his beard.

"I...I don't know what to do, but...but I want to do _something _about it," he explained.

Immediately, Sara's mouth relaxed and her eyebrows shot up. Grissom wanted to give it a try. Grissom, the most personal man she knew, was finally opening himself up to her. At least a little.

"You do?" She said, not succeeding very well in hiding the surprise in her voice. Grissom couldn't help but give up a small, half-mouthed smile at her reaction.

"To be honest, though? I don't know what that something is. This is new to me," He said, the smile leaving as quickly as it had come.

"Grissom, every case we have has something different in it, right?" Sara said. She could have been talking in Korean by the look on Grissom's face.

"I--I don't see the relevance in this, but--"

"Just answer the question."

"Yes."

"So, what do we do when we have to figure out something we've never come across before, something new?" She asked, hoping that this metaphor would get to him.

"We...do an experiment?" He said after a moment, "You're saying that we have to experiment, aren't you?" Sara nodded with a smile. He'd gotten it.

"Sara, this is a big experiment, and I...I don't want to mess it up."

"Then we'll take it slow. Not all experiments have to be done quickly. Remember the pig?" She said, smiling at the memory of spending hours sitting under the stars with Grissom--even if it was next to the rotting carcass of a pig. The right corner of Grissom's mouth twitched into a smile as he remembered as well.

"And besides, Griss, when was the last time _you_ messed up an experiment?" She said, smiling up at him. And there it was. The sparkle was back.

* * *

a/n: like? don't like? well, now that i've re-written this chapter, my old chapter five was blown outta the water and i'm at a dead end with the pre-written chapters. so my updating skills might not be as good. sorry ( but i'll try my hardest, **promise!** thanks for reading! 


	5. Chapter 5

_a/n: _hey guys. sorry about the FOREVER it took me to update -- i've been a busy girl lately. that, and a bad case of writer's block and lack of peace around here. ok before you read this, the little angsty sara bit coming up is mayyyybe a little too much? yes, no? I for one can see it happening but I don't know what you'll think. feedback please.

oh and sorry for all the typos im a sucky proofreader. and all the spacings (or lack thereof) just happen and are unnavoidable. sorry!_

* * *

_

A whole week…

Sara pounded along the beaten path, arms pumping and head ducking at low hanging branches. The hot Nevada sun beat down on her, proudly standing above the mountains on the horizon This was her daily ritual. Since she didn't sleep much during the day, she'd go out for jogs before it got dark and before she had to return to her nocturnal job on graveyard shift.

She'd drive out to the forest area near Henderson and just run. She liked feeling powerful, her slim but strong legs propelling her forward, moving at her own will. She'd run to live, run to breathe, run to think. And think she did.

_Grissom and I had that talk a week ago, and nothing's gone down yet…_She thought, putting an irregular step in her rhythm to jump over a hole in the dirt path. Grissom said he waned to take things slow, but so far, nothing had happened since he'd driven her home from the hospital.

_Should I make the first move? _She thought, running harder in pent up frustration. _Grissom's personal, and not good with people. Should I wait for him? How long should I wait? Like for heaven's sake, he said he wanted to do something…So why isn't he? _

They saw each other at work, but other than that, they'd seen nothing of one another. Grissom seemed to be avoiding her around the lab, talking to her only when he had to. If she was in the hall and he didn't need to talk to her, he'd hurry off to his office, pretending to read a piece of paper. A usual Grissom trick; pretend you're busy and no one will bug you.

He'd gone and said that he wanted to do something about their rocky relationship, but no--he'd retreated back into is introverted shell like a hermit. It was typical Grissom. One step forward and three steps back.

_What if he's having second thoughts? _Sara worried, plowing through overgrown weeds and plants, sweat glistening on her skin. _This is just gonna make things worse. It's just gonna make us more torn apart than we already are. _

Remembering back to the Debbie Marlin case, she thought of Grissom's face those harrowing few days. Catherine had even expressed her obvious resemblance to the victim, although Grissom dealt with his observations in a different way. He had gone around with a face that, although rare, was full of emotion.

Sara's brow knitted as she pushed even harder. Her running shoes kicked up dust and rocks as she remembered seeing Grissom in the interrogation room, unknowingly confessing his feelings for her. He'd been talking to Dr. Lurie, Debbie Marlin's killer. He looked defeated, sad, regretful…

**_"It's sad, isn't it, doc? Guys like us. Couple of middle-  
aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives…" _**

_Hmph, that's exactly what you are, Grissom, _Sara thought, now angry at him.

**_"The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our  
latex gloves._** **_We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really  
lived at all." _**

Sara felt a little anger leave as she remembered Grissom saying those words. _Had he really woke up one day and thought that?_

**_"Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody ...we could care about. She offers us a new life with her ...but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her." _**

_Yeah, and we all know that you're not great with decisions involving yourself, Grissom. _Sara thought, the anger flooding back. Hot tears were burning in her eyes, threatening to fall out and mingle with the dust on the path.

**_"I couldn't do it ..."_**

_Damn right you couldn't. _The tears fell, disguised as they mixed with her sweat. Still, she kept running as if her life depended on it. Who knows, maybe it would someday.

_I wasn't worth it…_Sara thought, tears streaming down her face, her heart sending angry blood coursing through her body. She couldn't see anymore, the tears and the sun blinding her.

_And for a moment, he made me believe that I was. _

She stumbled on a rock, sending her flying along the path. She caught her balance just in time. Staggering off the path, she felt her back hit a tree and she slid down to the ground. Breathing hard and feeling the tears on her cheeks, she put her hands on her knees and stared up into the tree's branches.

_Grissom's a coward. He's…he's…the single most annoying, introverted, pig-headed, dumbfounding, hypocritical man I've ever met! _She lifted both hands to wipe her face.

When she took them away, she noticed a small blue butterfly floating along through the bushes..

_Then again, he's also the single most sexy, incredible, passionate, intelligent man, too…Why is it always like this with him? Up, down, up, down…Why can't we just get on with our lives together?_ She thought to herself.

_Because that'd be too easy. _With a wry smile to herself, she stood up, leaning on the tree trunk. She wiped her face with her shirt, still watching the butterfly's flight. It reminded her of Grissom; his graceful passion, the intricate makings of his existence. The deep blue of the butterfly's wings matched that of his startlingly intense eyes…She became transfixed by this tiny creature of beauty.

It was so fragile, so vulnerable, yet so strong willed and free. Grissom had once told her that the single beat of a butterfly's wings in the North Arctic could start a tropical storm in Brazil. Like this butterfly, Grissom could start a whole chain reaction. But without a little breeze, the butterfly probably couldn't fly. But with a gale force wind, the poor delicate creature would be destroyed.

So then and there, Sara realized that all Grissom needed was a little bit of a push. Not too much, but not too little. And hopefully, with the right plan, she could get him to fly.

* * *

He got to work at 6:30pm, half an hour before shift started. Nodding to Judy, the receptionist, he made his way to his office, preparing for the night ahead. He sat in his office, dark as usual, leaning back in his chair. 

He loved his office. Some people thought it was a little hermit-ish, but he liked it. It was always cool, dim, and waiting for him to come and release all of his emotion into it. He'd go there after a particularly hard case or when he was stressed, or for no reason at all, just to sit, relax and simply be.

He grudgingly started looking through assignment slips, his mind going thorugh the regular complaints of being a paper pusher. It was evil how the graveyard shift were expected to just carry on after Nick's incident.

_Well, life does go on, I suppose…_He thought sadly. It had been a week since he and Sara had had that chat in the hospital. And truth be told, he had backed off. He was scared. There were so many things he was scared about. His job, their age difference...Hurting Sara...As much as he desperately wanted to be with her, he was still holding back.

Sighing, he reached down and opened one of his drawers, hoping to extract his report from the previous night's case, but intsead, he felt his hand close around a small rectangluar box. He pulled his hand out and saw that he was holding a black box with the gold writing of a local store's name along the lid.

Curious and ever the scientist, he inspected the outer surfaces of the box, wondering how he had aquired this object in his desk. He brought it up to his ear, shaking it, prompting itto give up a clue to it's contents. Slipping on his glasses, he carefully slid off the lid of the box. A piece of paper fell out and went almost unnoticed as he stared at a beautiful watch, glinting in the dim light of his office.

He picked it up out of the box, studying it as if studying evidence. He realized that it wasn't ticking. holding it up to his ear, he heard nothing. He pulled and pushed the little wind up nib at the side, resulting in no effect whatsoever. The watch just wouldn't tick. He figured that the battery must be broken or missing.

_Who on earth would leave a broken watch in my desk?_ He wondred to himself, running a thumb over the glossy surface of the watch face. The background was a metallic blue; the hands a shiny silver. Then his eyes fell upon the note that had fallen from the box. Having read many reports in this penmanship, or rather pen_woman_ship, it was very recognizable.

* * *

**_Grissom,_**

**_"Time is the reef upon which all our frail mystic ships are wrecked." - _****_Sir Noel Coward Blithe Spirit _**

**_I know I once said that one dayit could be too late. Now it's impossible. I can't turn back time, but I can try and make the best of what's going on now. I hope you can too._**

**_Love, Sara_**

**_

* * *

_**

Grissom sat back in his chair and fingered the watch. Turning it over in his large hands, he spotted something ingraved on the back of the watch. Hie eyes squinted and then reopened wide in curiosity. On the back was written: "_Tempus fugit". _

Time flies.

Grissom smiled to himself, slipping on the watch. Of course, Sara had to remind him about time. And it was true. Time did fly; and Grissom was going to fly with it.

* * *

a/n:ohhhkay. well this story had sooo much potential and I think I botched it. I suddenly wishI hadn't done what I did with the last chapter. and as for this chapter, I have no idea. no idea where this is going, because its gone in a totally different direction than i meant it to go. not its getting a little sentimentally cheesy. and yes, i have a thing about metaphors. pleeeease tell me if its too cheesy. I hate when things end up cheesy. But then again, i _can_ see some of it happening. hopefully next chapter wont be as bad. wow i write long authors notes. im gonna shut up now. 


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: phew sorry this took forever, but it's summer and i've been up north at the cottage. oh well, my muse has been in full gear and i have lots of ideas...ideas im not sure what to do with! lol. well anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for the feedback. love you all for reading!

* * *

Sara walked the perimeter of the house, looking for evidence; a tire track, a footprint, a cigarette, maybe. She sighed, squatting to pick up a small white button she found among a pile of loose soil. It bitter-sweet for her; her first case with Grissom since…well, yeah….and it just _had _to be a rape case. 

_What's worse, the part where you get raped and beaten, or the part where you die? _She always wondered.

She hated rape cases. Her father had abused her when she was young. She hadn't been raped or anything but he'd beaten her, much like many of the women involved in rape cases. It was a horrible feeling. At night, especially after such cases, she could imagine what they had gone through.

She could see what they saw, feel what they felt. The terror that must have run through them like the ocean through a straw...She had terrible nightmares some days, and she'd often wake up in her cold, empty apartment, wishing deperately that she didn't have to endure the after-effects of her job alone.

* * *

"**_You want to sleep with me?"_** Sara remembered asking him. Then the bewildered look she'd gotten back from Grissom. 

"**_Did you just say what I think you said?" _**He'd responded in shock. She'd meant to be cynical, but it had turned out that he missed that.

"**_That way when I wake in a cold sweat up under the blankets hearing Kaye's screams, you can tell me that it's nothing. It's just empathy." _**

**_

* * *

_**

The memory faded from her as she shook her head, trying to get back into work mode. Walking back to the front, she ducked under police tape, nodding to Brass and Detective O'Riley. She then ascended the porch steps, the police cruiser's flashing lights slicing through the midnight air and illuminating her in red and blue flashes.

Walking through the door, she assessed the scene before her. With a trained eye, she swept the room, mentally taking snapshots of the broken lamp, the phone smashed all over the floor. The blood trail.

By the look of the way the drops were positioned, the killer had fled down the stairs and out the door. She followed the trail backwards up the stairs, careful not to contaminate any evidence. The blood directed her to a room on the left-hand side of a hallway. There, she found Grissom processing the scene.

And a scene it was. The girl lay on the bed, her arms tied crudely to her ankles, a pillow over her face. There was so much blood that Sara couldn't tell where exactly it had come from. Feeling the urge to run far away, she swallowed and gritted her teeth. It was time to nab this bad guy.

_Too bad we couldn't do that before he killed her…_

"Hey," She addressed Grissom, "Perimeter came up with zip except a button. From the killer's clothes maybe?" She theorized.

He acknowledged her with a nod of the head. She got to work, surveying the room, looking for bits of trace evidence that could be used. Grissom, who was photographing, looked up so see her squatted down, carefully dusting the nightstand. For a second, he stood in awe of her; her beauty, grace and intelligence.

_God, she is beautiful, _he thought to himself as she lifted a gun out of the nightstand, handling the weapon with an odd sort of elegance. He just stood there, wondering how she could make something so violent seem so passive and simple.

When Sara looked up a moment later, Grissom was busy photographing the rope that was binding the girl's hands and feet.

"I got a gun," She said, watching Grissom's head snap up from the camera. Like he hadn't already known. He nodded.

"Bag it."

She obeyed, and after a few minutes of quietly processing together, Grissom signaled with a wave of his hand to come to him. He stood next to the bed and leaned over the body. Sara was right next to him, so close that their shoulders touched. There was not much need for such close personal contact, but it was always like that with them. They always stood like that, close physically, as if it would somehow lead to emotionalland spiritually.

"What do you make of this?" Grissom asked, pointing out a mark on the girl's stomach, nearly invisible because of all the blood. It was a cross, apparently a tattoo of some sort, she thought. His gloved finger reached out and dabbed at it lightly, coming away covered with red blood and black.

_Not a tattoo…_She thought.

"What is it?" She asked. He lifted his hand to his nose to smell it.

"Permanent marker, is my guess." He said. Just then, Sara noticed the familiar metallic blue peeking out from under his sleeve…he was wearing the watch. _The _watch. Her somewhat-cheesy gift to him to perhaps jump-start him into action. Apparently it had at least had an affect on him.

Grissom's eyes caught hers staring at his wrist.

"It's nice, isn't it?" He said quietly, with a flick of his chin and a small smile. She nodded.

"A friend gave it to me…" Grissom said. A friend? Sara was getting confused. Is that all they were now? Friends? She quirked an inquisitive eyebrow at him, goading him to explain.

"And I need your advice. This friend…I've known her for a long time and I've been a jerk pretty much the whole time," He said, reaching down to bag and tag a black fibre on the bedsheet.

"And I think…I think I want to be more than friends. It's taken me way to long to realize that because I was so caught up in being a jerk," he explained, bending down to put the little white envelope housing the fibre into his kit.

He stood up to full height, standing close to Sara. They stood facing each other, each staring at the other in such a way that if Ecklie were to come in right then, the situation would look entirely inappropriate. Not saying anything for a moment, Grissom peeled off his gloves and bit the inside of his lip.

"Do you think she'll forgive me?" He asked quietly, his deep blue eyes set intently on hers. She broke his gaze to look at the floor. Her eyes then flicked up to his.

"Depends how long you've felt this way about her."

Just then, they were interrupted by a voice from the hall, calling Grissom. They moved apart a few inches just as David walked in.

"I'm ready to take the body, if you're done here," He said.

Grissom just nodded. Picking up his kit, he moved toward the door, Sara following him. She didn't know whether he would answer or not. Together, they exited the first floor apartment. Grissom didn't reply to her until they were out of the earshot of the other police guys on the case. They stood out in the parking lot together, beside the Crime Lab Denali.

"I always felt like this," Grissom said, lifting her case from her and putting it in the back of the Denali. He turned and sat on the edge of the open trunk, just looking at her standing there.

"I was infatuated with her when I first saw her—her smile, her eyes, her skin…"

Sara felt her stomach do flips as he confessed to her. Suddenly everything she had admired about her supervisor came back to her, hitting her hard like an eighteen-wheeler on a highway.

The way he moved with that graceful gait, the way he spoke in that sexy deep voice, the way he would stare at you as if he could read your mind…it was in his chiseled face, his gorgeous lips, his sparkling eyes, his beautiful graying curls…

"And I thought that that was it -- infatuation," Grissom said as Sara took a seat beside him on the floor of the SUV, "But since then I've figured otherwise…"

"I think if she's waited around this long for you you'd better tell her," She replied quietly. One of his big, warm hands reached out to caress her cheek. He smiled, one half of his pouting lips turning up at the corner.

"Who said she's been waiting for me?" He asked.

"No one. She just always has."

Then his lips closed in over hers and she was lost in the total ecstasy of the moment. This kiss was better than the first—last time he'd kissed her hesitantly and quickly, just out of not knowing what to do. This time, his kissed her with confidence, long and slow.

And the best thing about them being together like this was that for one fleeting moment, the horrific reality of the scene that they had just processed didn't seem so harsh. Thier jobs were filled with hard, cold, evil violence, and each could find consolment in the other...shame they had to wait seven years to finally come to thier senses...

* * *

a/n: you guys have no idea whats gonna happen! heheh. i have a good outline for the next chapter...please review! 


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: heyyy i updated! woot. well thisbit is longer than i contemplated it would be do im gonna have to postpone my **'you wont know what happens next'** to next chapter. WHICH im starting now so dont panic. it was originally meant to be part of this chapter but it got long. so ennjoy and be patient and hopefully i'll get the next up tonight!

* * *

Grissom sat flicking through the file pictures of the rape case.

_Like I really need to see them again, _he thought. The pictures were burned into his brain, like many of the more horrific cases he'd seen. The rape cases often were most of these. Not because of the scenes, but more about what Grissom could imagine what went on before he got there. What the victims had gone through.

What the killers and rapists had felt. He'd always wondered. He'd always wondered what was going through their heads. It sounds sick and twisted to want to know, but he just couldn't understand what these psychopaths were thinking. He sighed, waiting for the suspect to be brought in.

Sara watched from behind the black glass as Grissom sat in the interrogation room. It was the day after they'd processed the rape scene, and the victim had been identified as Charlotte Connors. A suspect was being interrogated in her murder. A rape kit had been taken, obviously, and the semen found had been used to get a hit off CODIS for a Heath Michaels.

There was a pretty good chance that this Michaels character was Charlotte's killer, unless the semen sample was planted. But as soon as he walked into that interrogation room, Sara knew. She knew it was him.

He was a tall, thin man with whipcord muscles. He had short, dark hair and a sharp 5 o' clock shadow and a fierce look in his eyes that said 'don't fuck with me' loud and clear. He was followed closely by Brass. He slammed himself down into the cold metal chair opposite Grissom.

Grissom kept his composure, sure to be unfazed by this measly attempt at intimidation. He was bigger than that. Grissom studied him for a moment, his eyes tightening on the black mark on the man's left forearm.

"Mr. Michaels, I presume," He said, a little coldly. Michaels grunted.

Sara, even from behind the glass, could tell that Heath Michaels was one of those men Grissom hated. Ones like that Ethan guy from the Jimson Weed case. Grissom hated three things: men who hit their wives, sexual assault on children, and the scum that deal death to kids.

_And looking at this guy, he's probably done all three, _thought Sara.

"No lawyer?" Grissom asked. Michaels looked up from where he'd been attempting to burn a whole through the metal table with his eyes.

"Do I look like the kinda guy who needs a lawyer?" He asked gruffly, "No. Of course not. And that's why you and your baboons got me in here. Just 'cause I don't _look _good don't mean I ain't."

Brass slapped a hand on the table.

"Shut up."

Michaels lifted his cuffed hands at Grissom.

"See what I mean?" Heath said fiercely. Grissom raised a calm eyebrow. He folded his hands on the table, pouting his lips as he was known to do when thinking.

"Do you know why you're here, Mr. Micheals?" He asked. Sara watched the preliminary interrogation, taking mental notes about the suspect. She had a gut instinct that this guy was the one. This guy had killed Charlotte Connors. She also took the opportunity to watch Grissom. Since he'd told her about his feelings for her, she'd been curious about him.

She wondered what he'd be like in a relationship. What was he like outside of work? Grissom was such an introverted and surprising man. He was mysterious, and that was part of what attracted Sara to him. She was jolted out of her thoughts as Grissom started the questioning.

"What were you doing at your ex-girlfriend's home when you were set to be married in a month?" He asked. Heath's face went red underneath the stubble.

"What the hell, man! I told you! I wasn't at Charlotte's!" He yelled. Grissom shook his head.

"Mr. Micheals, you're lying to me. And I don't like when people lie to me. I don't think you understand. Charlotte Connors ended up dead. And we found your prints at the scene," Grissom said calmly.

Sara understood what he was doing. An interrogation room tool – using a holdback. A holdback is something in a case that is not revealed at first to find out just how much a suspect knew. If Michaels knew she was raped, he was likely the one who raped her.

"I don't care if you found my fucking prints!" He cried. Then after a moment, "I lived there for three fucking months, my prints are bound to be there."

He had held back for a beat after explaining. He was likely contemplating if they knew she'd been raped. Grissom had once told her that many rape cases were personal, and had explained previously that this case was likely personal, given the mode of killing; the killer had slit her throat and the insides of her thighs.

Sara decided to sit in on this one. Leaving the room, she appeared on the other side of the glass a minute later. She walked in almost silently, Grissom's eyes meeting hers for only a fraction of a second and then flicking to Micheals'.

"Sara Sidle." Grissom introduced her with a motion of his hand. She sat next to him, trying to ignore the disgustingly hungry look on Heath Michaels' face as he stared at her.

Little did she know, so was Grissom. He hated this. Every time Sara was introduced to a male suspect, they all gave her that hungry look, the look that he found made him want to throw up. He didn't know how she could stand it. He would _never _even _dream_ of looking at a woman like that, never even mind Sara. She was beautiful, and she was his. And he definitely knew that she didn't deserve it.

His eyes hardened on the suspect.

_I'm gonna crack this guy if it's the last thing I do…_

"Mr. Michaels, would you lift up your left sleeve please?" he asked. Michaels reluctantly obeyed, unaware of the black mark he had on his forearm. Grissom smiled.

"Thank you," Grissom said. He threw down the photo of the cross on Charlotte's stomach.

"This was found on Charlotte's stomach," Sara said, watching Michaels intently, "It's permanent marker that someone left behind after they killed her. Care to explain how it ended up on you?"

Michaels' eyes flicked left and then back to Grissom.

"I was helping my nephew with a project and I used a marker," He said quickly, "Is that a crime?"

"Depends if you used that marker to draw this on your ex-girlfriend," Grissom said. They sat in silence for a moment. Then Sara looked up at Michaels.

"Do you love your fiancé?" She asked him. His head shot up.

"What kinda fuckin' question is that?" He asked loudly. Brass started toward him.

"Watch your language around the lady," he warned.

"Yeah. Course I do, why else would I be marrying her?" He said, quite honestly, with only a hint of anger in his voice.

"Did you sleep with Charlotte when you were together?" Grissom asked him, knowing where Sara was going with this. The anger returned to the suspect's voice.

"Can you ask me that! It's personal, man!" He cried. Grissom just stared at him until his interviewee folded under his intensity.

"Fine. Yeah. I did. So? What's that got to do with anything?"

Grissom could tell he was getting uneasy. Getting closer to the subject of sleeping with Charlotte would be a touchy subject if he had indeed raped and killed her. Sara's eyes tightened on his.

"Did she love you?" She asked. He kept quiet.

"Answer the question!" Brass said forcefully.

"Yeah."

"Let me guess. She was still in love with you when you got engaged. Then, just before you were to be married, Charlotte told, didn't she? She sabotaged your wedding," Grissom said quietly, his deep voice rumbling off of the walls of the small room's walls. Michaels sat there staring at the floor, his face growing red and his hands starting to shake. Grissom pushed further.

"She told someone that you slept with her before you were married. And the Catholic Church does not approve sex before marriage, so your wedding was off, wasn't it?"

Grissom let the words soak in before finally accusing him.

"So, you killed and raped her, leaving behind the symbol of what she used to sabotage you. Her murder weapon. She killed you. And you hated her for it."

Michaels head snapped up.

"THAT BITCH FRIGGIN RUINED MY LIFE!" He yelled, slamming his hands on the table, his handcuffs making a metallic smack as it came into contact with the metal table.

"I killed her!" Tears streamed down his face. "I killed her. And you know what? I liked it. You know what it's like, Doc? To have the woman who ruined your life underneath you, powerless? I bet you have someone at home, don't you…yeah and when she goes and hurts you, you'll want to hurt her. And I did it. I hurt her. You'd be surprised at how good it feels…" He laughed, a psychopath's maniacal laugh.

Grissom and Sara just stared at him, half taken aback at his words.

_Sick bastard, _Grissom thought.

Michaels got a crazy look in his eyes, like he couldn't quite focus. He was roaring with laughter now.

"I bet you got someone like her!" He said, pointing to Sara, "Some skinny bitch like that that only wants you for your money. Someone like Charlotte. And one day she's gonna bit you in the ass and run away. And you'll no how it feels!" He roared.

Grissom stood up so quickly his chair clattered to the floor. And in the blink of an eye, he had Michaels pinned against the wall. His teeth gritted together and he stared at the man, his hand dangerously close to his throat.

"Don't you **ever **talk about her like that." He spat, letting go and watching in satisfaction as the tear-stained maniac slid to the floor.

"Arrest him." He said quietly to Brass. And with that, he was gone.

* * *

a/n: betcha dont know whats gonna happen next! -wink- 


	8. Chapter 8

a/n: there go go i finished it! ok here's chapter 8. it gets a little intense, but dont worry, i hope i didnt go too far. please r and r!

* * *

Sara jogged down the hall to Grissom's office, worried about him. His little outburst in the interrogation had scared her a little and she wanted to know that he was okay. She found him standing facing away from the door, each palm splayed forcefully on his desk, leaning heavily on it, body rigid.

"Grissom?" She said quietly, slipping into the office and closing the door, "Are you okay?" She asked, not daring to move closer to him. He sighed and his head dropped a little lower.

"I'm…I'm fine. That guy just got to me." He said quietly, "I hate bastards like that guy." Sara smiled a little, stepping forward a few steps. He kept talking.

"He shouldn't have talked that way about you. He shouldn't have looked at you like that," He said, still quietly. Sara came closer and reached out a slender, pale hand to touch his shoulder. He tensed, then relaxed under her touch. He turned around to that they faced one another, only a few inches apart.

"I can't stand when they do that," He said softly, his voice deep and raw, "You don't deserve it."

And with that, he kissed her fiercely, releasing anger to her in the form of passion.

"Meet me after shift," She whispered in his ear after a few minutes, breathless and lips swollen, "My place."

And with that, she left his office.

* * *

Sara opened the door to find Grissom there, wearing light tan dress pants and a green polo shirt, looking incredibly sexy with his hands in his pockets.

_Oh dear God…_

She was in the middle of trying to slow her heartbeat and keeping her jaw from the floor when Grissom slipped by her and closed the door with one hand.

"Nice to see you," he said softly, noting that her hair looked _good _in a messy bun. She smiled her signature Sara gap-toothed smile.

"You see me every day."

"Not as much as I wish I could."

Sara was taken aback by this statement. All of a sudden their worlds had been overturned. Nick had almost died, they'd been in terrible danger more than once, and they had been dancing around a relationship for over a week. They had to deal with a rape case and a crazy rapist who'd told Grissom that he'd hurt her some day.

_And now Grissom's in my apartment. _Sara thought, her stomach doing flips. Ignoring his statement, she motioned to her living room/area.

"Come sit down," She said, taking a seat in the same place that she'd sat when he'd held her hand and she'd poured out her soul to him. And he sat in the same chair. And that was when she realized that that empty feeling her apartment had was gone now that he was back.

Grissom sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing his face.

"Tough case, huh?" He asked, knowing that Sara would be feeling its effects as well. He had suddenly felt very protective of her. He had finally realized that under that hardened exterior, Sara had a side of her that needed him, a part of her where she hid all of the things that she pretended didn't bother her.

She nodded, "I hate rape cases."

"I've noticed. Some of them really get to you, don't they?" He asked softly, a hand reaching out to caress the soft skin of her cheek. She nodded, getting that sad look in her eyes that Grissom hated to see. He got out of his chair and squatted in front of hers, holding both of her slender hands in his big ones.

"Please tell me you're okay, honey…" He said softly, his eyes glittering in the dim light of her living room.

"Grissom, I-I know this sounds kind of dumb and cheesy…but as long as you're here, I'll be fine," She said. His mouth pulled into a half grin.

"No…no, it's not cheesy at all…Sara, I never knew before, but around you I feel better all the time. I'm happier," Grissom said, making her smile shyly.

"I didn't let myself feel happy around you because I thought it was wrong. But I never knew how right it really felt." He stood up, placing one hand on each armrest, pinning her into the chair. He leaned in and kissed her, his tongue running along her bottom lip. His anger and intensity flowed into her, filling her with strength.

_Wow, each kiss just gets better, _Sara thought.

Their tongues met and Sara couldn't help but moan a little, feeling Grissom tense at the sound. Her hands splayed across his chest and she pushed him up. His hands closed around her wrists as they stood up together, still kissing passionately. She flicked her tongue over that funny little tooth that Grissom had … the one that was set farther back that the others and Sara found oddly attractive. He chuckled into her mouth.

They stumbled back until Sara had him up against a wall, the kiss getting hotter with each growing moment. Her hand reached up into his curls, the simple touch of her fingers making him moan in pleasure. His hands had reached her waist, slipping under her shirt and warming her bare skin.

"Grissom!" She gasped breathlessly as his lips reached the skin just below her ear. She felt as if she was about to explode. All that was running through her head was a constant stream of 'Oh My God's. Her fingers tightened around his shoulders, digging in as he made rumbling sounds against her neck that vibrated her body.

Somehow, they ended up in Sara's bedroom, on top of her white duvet. Sara was making short work of his buttons while his hand traced her navel. He couldn't help but groan as he felt her hands on his bare chest. He growled her name and she shivered, feeling his on her hips.

His hands slipped down to the tops of her thighs and he stared down at her, beneath him.

"**_I killed her. And you know what? I liked it. You know what it's like, Doc? To have the woman who ruined your life underneath you, powerless? I bet you have someone at home, don't you…yeah and when she goes and hurts you, you'll want to hurt her. And I did it. I hurt her. You'd be surprised at how good it feels…"_**

He stopped, watching Sara breathing hard and blinking up at him. Then he saw the face of Charlotte Connors instead of her. He saw Debbie Marlin. He saw dozens of women who had been hurt by men. Their lovers, their friends…

"I can't do this."

* * *

a/n: review! 


	9. Chapter 9

a/n: oops. i think i made a few of you a leeeetle angy with that cliffhanger. heh heh. aint i evil! and i have a feeling you guys are gonna like hate me now because unfortunately what you _wanted _to happen may not happen. at least not in this chapter. make sure you read the other authors note at the end plz... read on!

* * *

Sara sat up, looking at Grissom as if he were crazy. 

_What's wrong with him?_ Sara thought, wondering what the hell had gone so wrong when they were going so well in the first place.

Grissom, on the other hand--his thoughts weren't so chrystal clear. In fact, it was more like the clarity of tar. It was turmoil inside his head. There was so many things going on. He wanted to go further with her, he really did...but on the other hand there were so many more good reasons not to...

"Grissom, what are you talking about?" She asked, still a little breathless. He blew air out of his mouth and his body seemed to melt as his shoulders slumped. The fire she'd seen in his eyes turned down into small embers.

"Sara, I can't so this." He repeated. The way he'd seen her, the way he'd seen all of the other women who'd been hurt my men…it scared him. It scared him to know how much power he had, and he couldn't help but feel responsible for not using his power to help them.

"I…I don't want to hurt you," He said, not looking her in the eyes. She reached out a hand and ran it along the line of his beard, wondering what was going on in his head.

"What do you mean? I know you'd never hurt me," Sara said softly. He grabbed her hand with his.

"Do you? Is that why you became an alcoholic?" He said bitterly. Her eyebrows sunk further toward her eyes.

"Look at me." She said, forcing him to look into her brown eyes.

"My drinking problems are over. They have nothing to do with this. Grissom," She pleaded, her eyes watering, "You make me happy. Please …" She pleaded, not knowing what exactly she was pleading for. Maybe for Grissom to start making some sense…

His hand, still around her wrist, squeezed a little tighter.

"Sara, just then…just then I didn't see you beneath me…Sara, I saw Charlotte Connors. And I felt like Heath Michaels. And it scared the living shit outta me."

"What!" Sara shook her head in confusion, "…you're saying that you think you'd hurt me like that…this is about what he said, isn't it?" Grissom swallowed and blinked at her.

"Geez, Griss. He was just some crazy psychopath. You're not like that! God, Grissom, you're not. You'd _never _hurt me like that. And you better damn know that I wouldn't hurt you," She said, a small fierce tone in her voice, "You're being entirely irrational! You hear me? You. Would. Never. Hurt. Me." She said, putting extra emphasis on the 'never'.

Grissom shook his head, as if trying to rid himself of such thoughts about hurting Sara. He honestly didn't want to hurt her in any way whatsoever, but he was still caught up in the chance that maybe someday he would and she'd end up hating him. It seemed that she'd talked some sense in to him.

"Sara…" He exhaled, lowering their hands to the bed, "I just don't want you to end up hating me. And I know that sounds dumb, but I really do…I care about you so much…"

Sara smiled a sad-looking smile of understanding. She was about to open her mouth when he interrupted her.

"Yeah. I know. You won't hate me." He said, smiling at being able to read her mind, "But still, I can't do this…"

"Why not? What are you afraid of?" She asked.

"Now? Nothing. Its just…I don't want it to happen this way, honey. I…I want it to be perfect. I want us to spend time together, talk about things. I want you to call me Gil and I want to just **be** with you…" he said, slowly.

Sara just nodded, tears still watering her eyes. This time, though, they weren't the sad kind. Both of their hands met between them, her small, pale ones and his big, warm ones.

"And when the time comes, I want everything to be just right…the way things happened just now…" Grissom said, thinking of the past twenty minutes, "It was…well it was enjoyable, but I think if we do things right it can be ten times better."

"I think you're getting the hang of this experiment thing," She said, kissing his lips slowly and caringly, "But will you at least stay with me tonight?"

He nodded and reached his arms around her to give her a gentle bear hug. They stayed like that for a while; sitting up in Sara's bed, moonlight pouring through the curtains and illuminating Sara's pale face and Grissom's shirtless torso, each touching the other in a warm embrace.

Both could not believe it was happening. It finally caught up with both what they were doing. Sara was finally in the arms of the man she loved, in her bed. She'd waited seven years for this. And Grissom…well Grissom didn't think that he'd ever end up in her bedroom. Sure, maybe he'd fantasized about it a few times…okay, more than a few times, but he never actually thought he'd have the guts to go through with it.

"Grissom?" Sara mumbled into his warm, bare chest after a moment.

"Hmm?"

"Do you wanna talk for a while or something?"

"Sure," He said, his hand tracing patterns on her back and playing with her silky dark hair.

"What do you want to talk about?" She said, snuggling closer.

"Anything that is unrelated to Charlotte Connors, work, or the Lab," He said, placing a small but chaste kiss on her jawline. She smiled. Maybe it was good to talk about something light after what had just happened. The weight of the situation was getting a little heavy.

"What don't talk about us. You." He proposed.

"What do you want to know?" She asked, pulling away so that they were sitting across from each other, just staring into the other's eyes in the moonlight.

"Hmm…What do you like most about me?" He asked, throwing her off-guard with one of his weird flirting comments. As usual. Sara smiled at him sweetly.

"Hmm. Physically – your eyes. But other than that I like your intensity…I find it incredibly sexy…" Sara said tauntingly. He quirked his eyebrows at her.

"Oh, and that too," She added.

"What?"

"That thing you do with your eyebrows." She answered. He pouted his lips.

"And that."

"What is it this time?" He asked, both amused and bemused by their little game.

"Your lips. When you pout them…they make me want to ki--"

She was about to say 'kiss you' when those gorgeous lips she'd been in the midst of talking about covered her own. They kissed for a moment when Grissom pulled away.

"Anything else to add?" He asked, quirking his eyebrows and pouting at the same time.

"Everything," She laughed. The weight had definately lifted.

"Well, that's not fair," Grissom said playfully, "I asked you what you liked about me most. You can't say _everything. _It's against the rules."

"Fine then. What do you like about _me _the most?"

"Everything."

Then she laughed, flopping down into her pillows. Grissom did the same. Around then, it was when she realized that although she'd been disappointed at first about Grissom's decision not to go any further, she now realized that they didn't need to have sex to forget all thoughts or worries about work, or Nick's accident, or her parents. She didn't need sex to forget her lifefor a moment.

Sara had found the cure for the feelings caused by the horrible cases she saw every day...and this time, it wasn't alcohol. She smiled to herself, snuggling closer to her antidote. She was surprised when his arm came to rest upon her flat stomach.She felt like a small fire was burning inside of her, confirming her thoughts.

_I love him._

_

* * *

_

_I could do this until the day I die…_Thought Grissom, enjoying the radiating warmth of Sara beside him. She'd surprised him by snuggling her back into his chest. He'd surprised her back by wrapping a warm arm around her. He lay there like that, listening to her soft breaths as she fell asleep and inhaling the soft scent that was Sara. As much as he tried, he couldn't decipher what exactly it was.

Then he got to thinking about what had just happened…the taste of her, the feel of her, the sounds she made when he kissed her and he touched her. It had been amazing. They'd almost…done the unthinkable. Well, not-so-unthinkable anymore.

But in some odd, sort of un-stereotypical masculine way, he was glad that they hadn't. It wasn't that he didn't want to, or that he wasn't ready…it was just he wasn't the type of person who had spur-of-the-moment, consequences-be-damned sex.

_At least not the first time. _He thought to himself, imagining him and Sara actually being together as--dare he say it--a **couple**. But for their first time _together, _he wanted to make love Sara; to take it slow and make it mean something, to make sure that she knew exactly how much he felt for her. He wanted to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, to be able to be called a "we"instead of just an "I".

He lay there, drifting off and feeling warm and happy, and surprisingly satisfied with himself. Although they hadn't made love as in the normal sense, they'd made love in the literal way.He lay there thinking about the beautiful brunette in his arms and what his life would be like with her, now that he'd finally made a decision to move on together. And before he knew it, he was asleep, all thoughts of Charlotte Connors and her case out of his head.

* * *

a/n: sorry if i disappointed anyone. i hope my attempt at expressing grissom's many feelings came out okay. im not sure if i got the whole thing across, but basically i tried to convey his wants and needs and all that...but it was harder than i thought. he's a very confusing man after all. this was one of the hardest chapters to write.i have a feeling you guys wont be very happy with my decision to make him copp out. but i'll try not to dissappoint you in later chapters. i'm waiting to write the 'perfect moment'! please tell me what you think. 


	10. Chapter 10

a/n: thanks for all the feedback guys! you rock. anyway, heres chapter ten...not much is going on. this is mostly a filler chapter. but read on anyway!

* * *

Grissom couldn't remember waking up so happy. So happy, in fact, that even the Christmas morning that he'd received his "genuine Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle" couldn't contend. Who said a boy couldn't have some fun without shooting his eye out...Which he did – thank god for glasses – and that explained his hesitance to use a gun. 

Anyway, to the point, Grissom woke up happy forty-two years later next to the only woman Grissom had ever been completely serious about; Sara Sidle. He woke up in her white painted room, along with its white sheets and duvet cover and contrasting dark furniture…which obviously reminded him of her pale skin with her dark hair and eyes.

_A winning ensemble, _he thought. He breathed in deep, stretching his toes and tightening his fingers over her smooth stomach. Remembering that happenings of the previous night, Grissom deduced that at least because they hadn't done anything, not much could go wrong.

Her back was pressed intimately against his chest, and he was struck by wonderment at the fact that in this whole chain of events that lead to this moment, there had been minimum awkwardness. In fact, the only complications that had been standing in the way were ones made by himself.

_Old news, _he thought with a wry smile. He'd been doing just that for seven years.

In his warm embrace, Sara was waking to the pleasant, deep smell of her companion. However, wishing that she had that smell all over her, she knew that he had been right; taking things too fast would have been wrong.

_Hell, I've waited seven years; I can wait a little longer. At least I have something to look forward to; _she thought, fluttering her eyelids open and turning to find she was staring right into Grissom's sweet blue eyes. She found it mildly funny how innocent they looked compared to the fiery concentration she'd seen the previous night.

She kissed him in the morning light filtering form her fourth floor apartment, basking in the warm, invisible male glow only a man such as Grissom could produce. His hands sweetly and innocently found their way to her hips like they belonged there, even though they'd only been there briefly for a moment once before. He noticed the way their bodies fit so well together and the way it seemed they were -- dare he say a cliché -- made for each other.

He had an unfamiliar flutter in his chest, and he could feel the words forming on his lips of the immortal words, but he would not bring himself to say them. Not yet at least. He wanted to tell her at the perfect moment, and then he would take her as he had promised. Sighing at the fact of having to wait for more time to pass, he slowly pulled away from her.

Smiling shyly, he kissed her forehead and slid out of her bed, wearing only a pair of cotton boxers, having discarded his pants in the middle of the night in discomfort. After arguing with her for a moment, he won out and told her he'd bring her breakfast in bed. While he was in the kitchen, Sara lay in bed, in awe of her luck.

_I'm finally with Grissom!_

She couldn't believe it herself. Grissom had come into her apartment a whole different person. He was impulsive, strong, and sweet. It seemed that he really was trying his best to make things go right. She couldn't explain how odd it was to see Grissom walk into her bedroom, clad only in boxers, with a giant plate of toast, coffee, and oranges. He sat down next to her, handing her a coffee and making her heart pause with a caring gaze.

"How funny do you think it would be if we went into work together?" Sara laughed. Grissom picked up his coffee.

"I think Catherine would go on gossip overload and Ecklie might loose what's left of his hair…"

Sara smiled and placed a kiss on his lips. She couldn't resist. She'd dreamed about kissing those lips for years, and now that she'd tasted him, she found she couldn't stop herself. She loved the feeling of his tongue dancing with hers, the way he was strong but gentle…

_How the heck am I going to contain myself at work? _Was her next thought.

* * *

That night Catherine Willows walked the halls of the Vegas PD Crime Lab with her head held high, as usual. She'd spent the night talking and watching movies with Lindsey, the regular girl stuff, and she was feeling pretty happy. Waving hi to the cute AV tech, Archie, she rounded the corner to find Grissom walking towards her. There was something not right about him, but she couldn't exactly place what.

"Morning, Gil," She said almost cheerfully as she fell into step with him and they walked towards the break room. He smiled at -- Wait, he smiled! Since when does Grissom smile first thing in the workday without a justified reason? And since when does he forget to remind her that technically it should be 'good-night'?

_Something's not right…_Catherine thought slyly. _Maybe he has a new lady? Nah. He probably just got asked to do some article for one of his bug magazines. _Although it would be nice if he did have a woman in his life because as far as Catherine was concerned, Grissom's sex life was heading for six feet under.

Little did she know what went on last night…

"What are you so chipper about?" She asked coyly. If she'd caught him off guard as intended, he made no evidence to secure that thought.

"Me? Chipper? Catherine, since when am I 'chipper'?" He asked with a look that said 'what the hell are you on about'.

"Oh I don't know. You look…different today," His mouth curled into another smile.

"Thanks for noticing Cath, but if you're trying to get me to let you buy me a new wardrobe, the answer is still no."

"Don't mind me asking, but you look tired...any reason you weren't sleeping right last night?" She lied, a hint of suggestion in the way her eyebrows subtely raised. He shot her a look.

"Hm. And what if i _do _mind you asking?"

"Grissom, you know I'm just looking out for you. Anyways, I'm glad for you," Catherine smiled sweetly at him. Grissom looked confused. She thought he was sleeping with someone?

_How the hell does she know these things! _Grissom wondered. Although she wasn't 100 right, she'd caught on._Damn, this is gonna be hard..._

"Catherine," He stared fiercly , dropping his voice out of earshot, "My sex life--"

"So! This _is_ about your sex life!" Catherine accused, proud of her skills of confrontation. Grissom resisted the urge to roll his eyes and snapped at her.

"How come a goodchunk of our conversations always involve this? I've told you a million times. My sex life is just fine with you intervening!"

"Don't be such a prude, Gil. Anyways, I'm happy for you..." She said slyly as they made their way to the break room.

"I thought I was gonna have to do a little more than intervene..." She said with a wink. Grissom's mouth dropped open and he stared at her.

"Joking!" She reassured, slipping by him.

They entered the break room to find the team already assembled. They were all early for some reason, so they sat down to chat for a bit. Catherine, still trying to figure out the mysterious Grissom, was watching him closely as he sat in his chair, sifting through assignment slips his fingers absent mindedly playing with the edge of his scruff.

Grissom was one of her closest friends, and she was definitely interesting in his well being. Suuure she was.

_He's playing with his face…_Catherine thought. _Men do that when they have a woman on the brain…one of those sub-conscious things. _She watched his eyes flicker up and look around the room, fixing on something behind her for a moment, then back down, a tiny hint of a smile playing on his lips. Boys are so cute when they do that.

Funny that she didn't notice Sara behind her, her fingers idly playing with her mug, trying vainly -- and unsucceeding – not to stare at Grissom's lips. And they call themselves investigators…

* * *

a/n: I figured the whole sex life thing wouldn't be too out of place becasue Grissom and Cath have talked about it at least twice before. please tell me what you think! 


	11. Chapter 11

a/n: woot, chapter eleven...i couldn't resist putting Grissom in a suit...sorry, it had to happen!

* * *

"Lookin' good, Doc." 

Grissom jumped as he heard the sultry voice from the shadows. He turned in time to see Sara in the doorway of his office.

_Was that a wink?_ He thought, straightening his tie. Sara gave him the once (or maybe twice) over and stepped into the dim lighting of his office. She had to admit, he _did _look good.

_What? The man looks good in a suit! _Sara tried to calm herself. The way his eyes burned into hers, and how good he looked in that suit…She shivered.

"I like the suit," She commented.

"I thought you liked was my eyes," Grissom flirted back, pretending to be hurt, "And my eyebrows, and my lips…"

"Hey, I did say everything…" Sara said, stepping even closer to fix his tie. He watched her fiddle with it, enjoying having her close again. He'd missed it. She smiled and stepped back, having fixed his tie. She decided that she liked him better in a tux and bowtie.

"And here was me thinking you got all dressed up for me…" Sara said, shaking her head and lifting a hand in a half shrug, letting in drop to her thigh.

"Aw, shucks, ya caught me." Grissom said dryly, but in a nice way, "I'm testifying at the Charlotte Connors' murder trial tonight."

She froze for a moment, afraid that Grissom might do something irrational. He touched her arm lightly, his steady gaze unmoving from her face.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. I just want to get this guy behind bars," He said softly, watching as her perfect eyelashes beat like a butterfly's wings. He somehow found the courage inside to ask her what he had practiced in his mirror at least five times before he got to work.

"Umm…Well, – you know, since I'm all dressed up – the trial should end at about 9:00…D'you think maybe you'd be, uhh…interested in a social outing of some sort?"

Sara couldn't help but smile at his flustered attempt at asking her out.

"Grissom, are you asking me out after the trial?" She laughed.

_Shit, is that good or bad? She's laughing at me!_

"Grissom, how come you're having so much trouble asking me out when just two nights ago, you were in my bed?" She said, an amused smile playing around her lips, "Anyway, in that suit, how _could_ I say no?"

He smiled and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Pick you up at 9:30?" He said, grabbing his briefcase and moving toward the door. She smiled her classic gap-tooth smile and left, leaving Sara smiling wickedly and thinking…

…_if I can wait 'til then…

* * *

_

It turns out she couldn't. Having finished up on her simple B&E case, she changed into the pair of nice clothes in her locker (always there; just in case) and headed over to the courthouse.

_Any chance to ogle Grissom in that nice suit…_She thought as she slipped in un-noticed into the large room. She slipped into a seat, immediately spotting Grissom as he made his way up to the witness stand. She smiled as he recited the required speech without prompting or help. That's what experience does for you.

"This is the People vs. Heath Michaels," The judge announced. Heath Michaels' lawyer approached the witness stand.

"Dr. Grissom, you were head supervisor of the case at hand, am I right?" The defense attorney asked, pacing the floor, his palms together.

"Yes, I experienced the scene first hand, analyzed evidence, and read all reports done by my trusted fellow CSIs," Grissom replied.

"And you, being a senior CSI and experienced man of the law, can _prove _that my client is guilty of murdering Charlotte Connors?" he asked.

Grissom launched into his spiel, explaining the evidence and its meaning in a smooth, practiced way that made perfect sense. Sara couldn't help but marvel at him. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't really register that Grissom had finished his presentation of the evidence and the defense attorney was asking him questions about the case.

"Can you explain why my client would kill his ex-girlfriend when he is scheduled to be married in less than a month?" The lawyer demanded, slapping his hands on the Michaels' table. Grissom's eyes narrowed as he watched the water on the table slop out of the glass. After a moment, he launched into his answer.

"It is my understanding that Mr. Michaels is intending to be married in the Catholic Church. It is also my understanding that Mr. Michaels engaged in activities with Charlotte Connors which would compromise his chances of being married within the Church," Grissom said calmly, "He was in love with his fiancée, Laura, and did not want anything to compromise his chances of being with her…that 'anything' being Charlotte Connors."

Grissom stared at his hands in front of his as silence engulfed the air around the courtroom.

"Having been in love myself, I can say that if was put in the sort of situation where my life with someone I love is being negotiated; I would take action, but not the kind of action that Mr. Michaels initiated. He confessed that raped and killed Charlotte Connors, and I have it on tape."

Sara sat in the back row of the courtroom, staring at Grissom.

_Did he just admit that he loves me? _

Grissom sat in the witness stand, having finished his speech; he looked up just in time to see someone slipping out the door. Immediately, he recognized the tall brunette with the legs that seemed to go on forever. His eyes opened in surprise. She'd heard him.

Again.

* * *

"Hey, Griss. I was finished early, so I came here instead of you having to come get me," Sara said as she caught Grissom coming out of the courtroom. He looked at her for what seemed like a long moment. Would she acknowledge what she'd heard? 

"So…we gonna get going?" Sara asked the spaced-out Grissom. He nodded.

_Apparently, not yet._

"Yeah…you look nice," He said, surveying her outfit of a black wraparound skirt and a black-gold sheen sleeveless top, which set off her eyes nicely. She smiled and they walked to his car together.

Sara had never been in Grissom's personal car before. It was a silver Audi, probably a 2003 model, seeing as he'd had it for a while. It had a nice interior, and was pretty damn clean for a single guy.

"Like the car too, Griss," She commented.

"I used to have a Mercedes, but I sold it to Ecklie," He said smirking.

"What was wrong with it? The brakes don't work?" She laughed. He smiled.

"I don't think we'd be that lucky…"

Grissom drove them to a restaurant just outside of the downtown core. It wasn't too touristy, and it wasn't too cheap. Actually, it looked quite expensive. They sat down to eat, talking about work and such things. They talked about travel, college, old times at CSI…but the conversation seemed a little terse, likely due to the fact that what Grissom had said in the courtroom was the proverbial 'pink elephant' in the room.

* * *

"Grissom?" Sara said when they were exiting the restaurant. He slipped his hand around hers as they walked to the car. He was hoping that she wouldn't mention it yet – it wasn't the time, nor the place. And he wasn't quite ready to tell her yet. 

"I'm glad you pulled your head out of your ass."

He smirked.

"I'm glad you showed me it was in there," Grissom said, opening her door for her.

_How sweet, _Sara thought to herself. Grissom slid himself into the driver side and closed the door, staring at her for a moment with that gaze that Sara could never quite meet without looking away.

"I know it's late…but would you like to come over for a glass of wine or something?" He asked. His arm stretched behind her headrest in that funny manly way that guys have.

"Sure...thanks for dinner, Grissom." She said. His mouth twitched into a little smile and his tongue snaked out to wet his lips. He was glad she hadn't chosen to mention it so far. Sara leaned in slowly as Grissom did the same, their eyes flicking from the other's eyes to their lips. Then Grissom's hand found a place between her jaw line and her neck and he gently pulled her into a slow, tentative kiss.

After a moment, he pulled away, smiling at her and looking at her lips. They just watched each other happily for a moment, and then he started the car.

"Let's get going."

* * *

a/n: woot woot. some more g/s alone time. heh heh. whats going to happen? any suggestions? 


	12. Chapter 12

a/n: okay. well. here's chapter 12...i wasn't really sure where i was going with this, but it just kind of happened.

* * *

Grissom perched on the armrest of the couch, watching Sara standing a few feet away. Her arms crossed over her chest a little self-consciously as he gazed straight at her, hiding nothing from her in his eyes. After a moment, Sara shifted her feet and asked him what was wrong. 

"You heard me, didn't you?" He asked quietly. Sara shrugged.

"Grissom, I heard you when you spoke to Dr. Lurie. I heard you when you were at the stand. I don't even know if you were talking about me, but--"

"I was, Sara. I was… You don't ever have to doubt that," He said with a sigh, his intense gaze still on her, "Corny, I know, but sometimes I think about you so much that I slip up and I say something like that. It happens all the time – when you're there, when you're not – and I can't do anything about it."

Sara stared at him for a moment, telling her that everything he'd ever said to her was true.

"_Since when have you been interested in beauty? Since I met you..."_

She broke his gaze to stare off to the side for a moment.

"I know that when you talked to Lurie you said I wasn't worth the risk…" She trailed off.

"Sara. Don't you _ever _think that. I didn't mean that. I meant that I was an idiot and acoward to see what an incredible woman I had before me and never did anything about it. And a lot has happened since then. I've pulled my head out of my ass, in your words," Grissom said, reaching up and running a hand through his dark curls.

Sara stood and watched him, looking amazingly good in his suit. She suddenly wished she could be the one running a hand through his hair. She wanted to touch his lips, have his strong arms holding her…

...but first she had to know.

"Grissom, what you said tonight…was it true?" She said quietly. His eyes snapped up to hers and before he answered, she knew.

"Every word, honey, every word."

Grissom reached out a hand to her and she came to him, her eyes going a little watery and a full smile on her face. He pulled her in to him and into a deep kiss. His hands found her hips as her tongue found his, and he pulled her between his knees. Sara leaned up against him, running her fingers through his hair. Grissom moaned and his hands reached around to the dimples in the small of her back; the place he knew best, having set his hand there many a time before.

Sara smiled into his lips, recognizing the familiar feel of his hands and their familiar place. She'd longed for those hands for so long, and she'd wanted them even more after they first touched her that night. Her hands reached to remove his suit jacket and let it fall to the floor. Grissom's hands tightened around her waist.

"It's not too soon for you, is it?" She breathed into his neck, feeling his warm, big hands slide up her waist, not wanting it to end.

"Sara, If I wait any longer, I'll die…I need you," He said with vehemence, his deep blue eyes emitting waves of heat to her very core.

She smiled and gently pushed on his shoulders, so that he slipped off of the armrest and onto the couch. She settled in between his legs and began to undo his tie and kiss him hard at the same time, making him groan beneath her in pleasure.

Once again, when he felt her hands on his bare skin, he growled a deep, rumbling noise that even managed to make Sara moan his name. He pulled off her shirt and let his hands roam around her, discovering the soft skin he'd always longed to touch. She sat, straddling his thighs and undoing his belt and he just watched her, his want for her, his need for her growing with every passing second. Grissom's hands slid up her strong legs and her head fell back.

Then he sat up, shrugged off the rest of his shirt and scooped her up, carrying her to his bedroom. He laid her down on his bed and watched her for a moment. Every moment he'd been attracted to her led to now. Every single thought about her he had he used to fuel his passion for her and he slid onto the bed. He covered her slender body with his and aimed to kiss every square millimeter of her precious body, to let his mouth tell the millions of words he'd never said to her but wanted to, to make her know how much she meant to him.

An indefinite time later, Sara found her eyes going hazy as Grissom's hands held hers next to her head, their sweat-slicked bodies swaying as one. She felt as if she would explode as Grissom made love to her, in such a way that she'd never experienced. Then, on the brink of some fiery existence, she saw Grissom's face rocking above hers, his dark blue bedroom eyes piercing hers. She was sure it would send her over, but Grissom hesitated for a second.

"Sara…" he whispered hoarsely and Sara ran a hand over his damp brow.

"I love you."

Sara felt her heart do that odd thing it did whenever she saw Grissom, except a million times bigger. She whispered 'I love you' back to him, and that was all either needed. She resisted the urge to throw her head back and instead stared into his deep eyes and cried out his name. She let herself fall, knowing that Grissom would be there to catch her.

* * *

a/n: phew. done. i got sparklin-strawberries to beta this and she said that i don't really need to go 'm'. anyone think so? leave your reviews PLEASE. 


	13. Chapter 13

a/n: sorry this took forever. i've been busy, as per usual. i had a swimming course to do...buti passed all my strokes...go me! lol. so now i have more time on my hands i can write some more...kay well i better post this cuz i have stuff to do. oh, and the sequel to cwcm is up to take a peek if ya have time. thank you muchly!

* * *

"You're getting toast crumbs in my sheets!" 

Sara couldn't help but snort, holding her hand to cover her mouth, a piece of toast in her fingers. She turned to as Grissom looked at her with a mock-angry face but a smile in his eyes.

"I never thought I'd see the day when Gil Grissom said that to me," She said dryly, pretending to be romantic. Grissom --who was leaning against the pillows --smiled. Sara was just in front of him, between his legs and leaning against his chest, eating toast and wearing only a three-sizes-too-big forensics shirt and some girl boxers. He leaned over her shoulder and took a bite of her mid-air toast.

"Hey! I was still eating that…" She said, turning once again to look at him.

"I was hungry…" He pouted, running his hands up her thin waist. She popped the rest of the toast in her mouth and leaned farther back into him.

"Grissom?" She said after a moment. His chin came to rest upon her shoulder as his forearms encircled her.

"Promise me you won't regret this."

He placed a small kiss on her neck and smiled.

"Never."

* * *

Grissom walked down the hall, intently reading a piece of paper. That was the beauty of being a supervisor; you got away with 'I'm busy', or you could at least _pretend_ you were busy and no one would bother you. Really, its an art. So Grissom found that if he pretended to read a piece of paper, he was less likely to be bothered. 

This trick, consequentially, was also useful for being alone with your thoughts without interruption. And this particular night, his thoughts were being occupied by a certain gap-toothed brunette. There was only one thing that he could say about what had happened between them;

_Wow._

This time though, he realized that maybe his little trick was a bit of a hazard as he saw the huge metal door swinging towards him at an extremely high speed. His thoughts quickly progressed from _'wow'_ to _'ow' _as the door connected with his face. He staggered around the door as it made its regression back to the morgue. And, blinded by pain and shock, he stumbled into the person who had opened the door in the first place.

"Oh my God, Grissom! Are you okay?" came the familiar female voice as arms grabbed his to help him from falling over. Sara watched Grissom, his hands covering the bridge of his nose, stumbling around blindly. At the sound of her voice, he stopped moving and his blue eyes opened to stare at her.

"Ughh," he moaned, sounding very nasal, "I'm fine…I think. I can't feel it yet..."

Sara stood on her tip-toes and lifted his hands from his nose. Her eyes widened and she bit her lip, looking at the angry red bump that was in the process of forming.

"Ohhh wait. _Now _I can feel it. Ughh!" Grissom said, grunting in pain.

"We need to get you some ice, come on…" She said, letting go of one hand and pulling on the other to get him to follow.

"Honey, I'm fine, it's just a little bump--"

Doc Robbins took that particular moment to hobble out of the doors of the morgue to find Sara and Grissom...He was calling her 'honey' and she was holding his hands. Al's eyebrow threatened to quirk...coincidence? Heat of the moment?

_Maybe so..._

"It is okay?" Doc Robbins asked. Grissom's eyes shot to the older man and he let go of Sara's hand, nodding weakly.

"It's swelling a little, but--"

"Not you! My door!"

"Al," Grissom said in a warning tone. The coroner smiled and hobbled over to look at the injury.

"Hm, you're lucky…you could have broken it, but you took some of the major shock across your forehead…you're going to have a bit of a bump, I'm afraid. That, and a bruise to contend with George Foreman," He said, poking and prodding at the other man's nose, ignoring as Grissom winced beneath his fingers.

"Great. Just great."

* * *

"Great…Just great…" Grissom muttered pleasurably as Sara's fingers dug into his broad shoulders. He sat on Sara's couch, an ice pack on his nose and forehead, having just finished the shift. 

"You'll have to stick around for a bit. Doc said no sleeping for a while," Sara said in his ear.

"Mm…It hurts. And I'm going to look like I got mugged."

"You should have thought of that before you went four rounds with the morgue door," Sara laughed.

"Well maybe it wouldn't have happened if you didn't put the hinges though a workout…"

"You're right…I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you?" She said, letting go of his shoulders. He leaned back into the couch as Sara came to squat in front of him.

"You already have," He said. She smiled and then caught a whiff of something. Then she remembered why she'd come out of the morgue so fast in the first place.

_Oh shit. The only thing bad about being a CSI and dating at once..._

"'Scuse me, I need a shower…I'm reeking of decomp…"

She stood up, a little embarrassed. Grissom took the ice off of his face and attempted to wink at her, wincing in pain as he did so.

"Ouch…I love it when you talk dirty."

He pulled on her arm and she followed, and he successfully captured her in a kiss. She tried to be gentle around his nose, smiling at the one thing she had forgotten.

_The good thing about dating a fellow CSI...they don't mind you smelling of decomp!_

She smiled and pulled away.

"Don't you fall asleep on me," She warned, walking backwards in the direction of her bathroom. He gave her a wave and she disappeared into the bathroom. He heard the shower go on as he replaced the ice pack. He found he was quite unable to sit there when he knew that she was only a few yard away...

He gave her five minutes.

Then, setting the ice pack in the sink and grabbing a few fresh lemons from the fridge, he followed in hot pursit...

Very hot.

* * *

a/n: well. thanks to my lovely friend sparklin-strawberries, i rewrote this chapter and it turned out much better. lol. 


	14. Chapter 14

a/n: just a little filler chapter, not much meaning to the story, but whatever. lol. please review when youre done. criticisms and ideas are accepted...

* * *

It was sort of funny, the way that had skipped being a couple and progressed to lovers.

They cuddled on her couch, wrapped up in one of Sara's handy double-sized XL towels. They were still breathing kind of heavily, cheeks reddish and skin still searing hot, but fresh and clean nonetheless.

Sara had been a little surprised when she'd peeked around the shower curtain to find Grissom standing there with a bag of lemons, but she was glad he'd taken the initiative. Very glad. It had probably been the most enjoyable shower she'd had since the comical HAZMAT shower she'd shared with Greg…only _this _one was about a zillion times more pleasurable.

"This isn't weird for you, is it?" She now asked him, nudging her nose into his freshly-washed, sweet smelling neck. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, enjoying the feel of her pressed closely against him underneath that huge towel. Seriously enjoying it.

"This? Weird? Sara, nothing ever felt so right," He replied a little confused.

"No, I mean where we are right now…we never really did the whole dating thing. You know, _seeing_ each other? Not that I mind, of course."

"Honey, I've seen you almost every night since you came here. Every experiment we did seemed like a date, as weird as that sounds…" He said, stroking her still-wet hair with one hand.

"Yeah, I know what you mean…like that time when we got to blow up those pipe bombs?" She smiled, remembering how good he'd looked that day. That was one of her favourite 'Grissom' moments.

"Yeah. Things like that. You don't mind this, do you?" He asked, gesturing with his hand between them.

"Hell no. Grissom, I wanted you since the day we met…" She said, staring right into those gorgeous eyes she'd fallen in love with. They stared at each other for a moment, and then Grissom pulled her by the waist so that she was lying on his chest. He kept stroking her hair, feeling extremely ecstatic, but oddly serene at the same time. He'd never felt so amazing.

"Griss?" She said after a moment, putting her hands on wither side of his shoulders so she could look at his face.

"Mm?"

"What you said before…did you…did you really mean it?" She asked tentatively, afraid he'd take it back. He had told her he loved her in the heat of the moment.

_Was that it? The heat of the moment?_ She had to know.

Grissom's arms wrapped around her torso letting his hands rest in the graceful dip of her back, hidden by the fluffy towel.

"Yeah," He said quietly, "I do."

"Good," Sara said, her eyes a little glassy. She leaned in and kissed him softly, still being careful not to touch his bruises. She pulled away after an excruciatingly pleasant moment and let the words flow out of her mouth like the finest silk;

"I love you, Gil Grissom."

They were there for a while, basking in each other's presence, and enjoying the moment. Grissom was blissfully satiated with Sara…he'd never felt like this about anyone. It was amazing, how different he felt around her. It was also amazing, how the awkwardness had left the two of them. He'd never been able to be around a woman like he was around Sara.

One thing that hadn't changed though was the sexual tension that was so apparent between them at work. It was often harder now, to keep things between them out of their work life. Now that they had been together, they both found it hard not to look at each other too much…sometimes they found themselves having silent conversations with each other across a room.

Probably better that way, though, because people would probably think it was just the same old, same old. But it was killing both of them. As Catherine once said, there were no two people that needed to get laid more than both of them…and now that they were together, it was hard not to let that interfere with their work lives.

* * *

"Whoa, Boss, who did _you_ piss off?" Greg exclaimed as he saw Grissom walking down the hall, stopping at the sight of Grissom's slightly purple flesh. Grissom stopped his whistling (yes, whistling) to stare at him.

"Sara, evidently," he stated, shrugging and averting his eyes from Greg, as if they alone would tell him what had gone on with Sara. Greg smiled widely and followed Grissom into the evidence room, where three fibers, a skin tag, and a fingerprint laid waiting for them.

"Yeah…She _can_ get a little rough sometimes…" Greg said, still smiling, his eyebrows rising up suggestively. Grissom's head snapped up from the table to give Greg his very personal best death-glare. Greg saw the look on Grissom's face and immediately wished he hadn't said that….

Grissom already knew what he was going to do to get Greg back for that comment. _How 'bout a nice, juicy decomp? Or maybe **all** the decomps for this month…_

_Actually, Gregory, she doesn't like to work that way…_Grissom thought to himself, satisfied with the fact that he knew such information.

"Actually, Sara decided to take her anger out on the morgue door, behind which I happened to be minding my own business."

"Oh," was his answer as Greg cowered behind his double-ocular scope. He'd always known Grissom was sort of protective about Sara, but he definitely now knew the consequences of crossing the line.

_Let me guess, _thought Greg, _a month's worth of decomps…lucky me.

* * *

_

a/n: you know what to do. 


	15. Chapter 15

a/n: i didnt exactly know wherer to go with this so i just fast-forwarded to 'Pirates Of the Third Reich' because it was something better to write about. so, yeah here it is...i think you'll like this one, em. oh, and by the way everyone, i think im gonna try adn end this one soon because i have a new one i want to start thats gonna be awesome. so any ideas for future chapters would be appreciated.

* * *

Sara sped along Highway 55, tailing Grissom in his black Denali. Where he was going, she did not know, but she knew it had something to do with the case, and he needed some sort of back up. He was driving so intently that he didn't even noticed that he was being followed. She stayed a little behind him anyway, making sure the red of his tail lights didn't get to close. 

When Sara saw the sign declaring SPARKS that Grissom had passed a half minute before, she made the decision to call for additional back up. Grissom, ahead of her, pulled off onto a dirt road, following it to the spot where he'd processed Zoë Kessler's crime scene. As he neared the spot, he could see a woman in an SUV's headlights, the fierce light illuminating her leather-clad body as she made wide arcs with her arm.

As he neared, he could just make out something long and snakelike in her hand, lashing out in front of her.

_Oh god…it's a whip…_

He jumped from the car, jogging up behind Lady Heather. She was standing in front of Leon Sneller, who was tied to the front of a car, lacerations covering the better part of his body. Grissom could tell she knew he was there, but she didn't let up. She cracked the whip again, creating new bloody lines on Sneller's body. He cried out in pain.

"Heather!" Grissom yelled, using her name and not the usual 'Lady Heather', "Stop it!"

She didn't even flinch.

"No. Let me finish." She said, whipping Sneller again. Grissom could see tears wetting Heather's face, her features displaying a contorted mixture of satisfaction and pain.

She brought the whip back again to hit Sneller, but Grissom reached up and grabbed the end of the whip, intense pain burning into his hand when it came into contact. Heather tugged on the whip, whirling around.

"You cannot do this!" Grissom yelled, holding tight on the whip even as it cut his skin. This wasn't the right way Zoë's death should be avenged. Heather may have not been the best mother, but no child deserved this kind of treatment to her memory.

"No! Let go! Let…" Heather cried. Grissom just pulled harder.

"No."

"Please…" She begged him, her face a frenzy of feelings. Anger, hurt, pain…

"Stop," Grissom said, remembering their 'safe word', "Heather."

"Please…"

"I'm saying stop."

Then he pulled on the whip, pulling her close to him. She gasped deeply, breaking down into intense sobs. Grissom held her, his hand stroking the back of her head. He wasn't quite sure why. After a moment, he looked up and saw something he definitely hadn't expected to be there…

…Sara.

* * *

"You told me nothing went on with her." 

Sara stared into her locker a week later, violently stuffing things in angrily. Grissom sat dejectedly behind her on the bench, his elbows on his knees, and his face in his hands. They hadn't purposely spoken since Sara had seen him holding Heather. She wasn't mad that he had slept with her (if he had), but she was mad that he hadn't told her the truth when she had asked him.

"It wasn't like that, Sara…" He tried, still not looking up.

"What was it like then, huh Grissom? Did you have to pay her? Or was it just a courtesy fu--"

"It wasn't like that!" Grissom cried out, interrupting her. Sara froze in front of her locker, still not turning to him.

"Then tell me the truth…what happened between you two?" She said quietly.

"I…She…" Grissom stuttered and then exhaled frustratedly. Sara slammed her locker shut and made to leave.

"Yeah, Grissom. You don't have an answer, for once." Sara spat as she left the room. Grissom looked up when she left, grabbing his things. He followed her down the hall.

"She intrigued me."

Sara stopped a few feet ahead of him at the sound of his voice. She turned, watching his gorgeous pleading blue eyes as he was getting ready to tell her the truth.

"What?" She asked.

_She **intrigues **him? She's a damn prostitute, not a psychology assignment._

Grissom looked left and right, then grabbed her hand, taking her into his office and shutting the door. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the back of one hand.

"Something about her mystified me. You know, she could look at me and see everything. It was terrifying, yet so curious that I couldn't help myself from getting interested in her. She knew things about me that I hadn't even figured out yet…" Grissom said, standing between Sara and the door of his office.

"She's a special person. But…what I wanted from her was totally different from what she wanted from me. I wanted to talk about things, see the world from her point of view. She wanted…well she wanted from me what most men want from her." Grissom said, pleading with Sara to believe him.

"For a single moment, though, I wanted it, too. But then I realized how wrong it felt. She wasn't you," Grissom said, his hand reaching out to softly caress her pale cheek, "I ended it…nothing happened Sara, you have to believe me. I wouldn't lie to you…I care about you too much for that. If anything had happened I would have told you. Sara – I love you."

Sara couldn't resist those eyes and that pleading voice. She knew he'd been telling her the truth. She knew no other man that would be that honest. She fell into his chest, tears stinging her eyes but not falling. Immediately the familiar arms she had missed surrounded her.

"I'm sorry Griss…" She mumbled into his chest, "I should have believed you…we spent a week fighting over nothing."

"I know," Grissom said, kissing the top of her head, "God, I missed holding you…I don't want to fight with you…"

Sara leaned her face up to kiss him, both completely forgetting where they were. He kissed her fervently and desperately…he'd hated being sp emotionally separated from her after they had grown so attached. The whole time they had been not speaking to each other he'd wanted her so badly…to talk to her, to kiss her, to hold her…

His tongue ran along her lips, a subconscious action, and she reciprocated by moaning into his mouth. The sound brought him back to his senses, and he realized where they were – his office at the Lab.

"Sara," he said as she took a breath from kissing him. His blue eyes bored into her soft brown ones, like chocolate melting ice.

"Hm?" She said, movingto kisshis neck. It felt so good that Grissom couldn't help but groan a little. His heartbeat started to rise as he felt her tongue on his skin just below his beard.

"Honey, we have to stop you know, right?" He said, not really wanting to stop.

_We're making out in my office! _He thought frantically, stuck between wanting to kiss her so badly and the thought of the risk they were taking. But then again, the risk was a bit of a turn on…

"Mm…" Was the reply as his hand slipped under the hem of her t-shirt. Her lips found his again and they kissed for a long, hot moment. Grissom found himself getting very excited, and that bothered him. He knew that if things went much farther, he wouldn't be able to control himself. He'd never wanted someone as badly as he wanted her now, and it was driving him mad.

"Sara, we have to stop…" He said firmly. Her hands groped at his chest and she smiled at his sharp intake of breath.

"Yeah, but you don't want to, I don't want to…"

One of her hands drifted down below his waistline to untuck his shirt and she could feel the pulse on his neck start to race.

"Sara…" He said, his husky voice an unsure mixture of desire and a plea to stop. Sara's flat palm slid across the front of his black dress pants, where she could feel a bump growing.

"Oh god, Sara…stop…" Grissom moaned, his back now pressed hard up against the door. His eyes clamped shut and he was holding his glasses so tight in one hand Sara thought that they might shatter. He kept telling her to stop, but made no action to actually make her stop himself.

"Why should I?"

"Because," He said hoarsely, "Ecklie's gonna come in here and I'm gonna be having you on top of my desk…"

"Oh are you?" She said with a wicked smile.She was completely in control of him, and she was loving it. She was relentlessly touching him, kissing his neck, and making him crazy.

"Yes…I-I mean no! I mean…Ohhh yes!" He did his best to stifle the groan as Sara's hands touched bare skin. She smiled into his neck and he pushed his hips toward her.Grissom could no longer take this kind of torture.

In a quick movement that surprised Sara, his glasses and the file clattered to the floor when he raised his hands to her shoulders, pulling her tight against his body. He moaned and pushedher backso that her thighs touched the back of his desk.

"Sara, please…" He begged her, not fully knowing what he was begging her to do, "Oh god, Sara…Sar…Sa…" He lost control of his voice as heavy breathing took over and his eyes clamped shut again.

* * *

Nick walked down the hall after shift, getting ready to go home. He walked past the locker room, making his way to Grissom's office to say good night like he did every night at work. But when he got there, he was surprised to see that the door was closed and the only light filtering through the closed blinds was the blue-ish light that came from his tarantarium. 

_No way…Grissom is gone already? Since when does Grissom finish shift less than thirty minutes after it's supposed to end?_ He thought. Then he heard the groaning. Grissom was in there, and something was definitely wrong. Without another thought, Nick reached for the door handle.

When he stepped into the room, he saw Grissom sitting on the floor against one of the metal shelves, his chest heaving and his shirt untucked. Nick could see that his brow was damp with sweat.

"Jesus, Griss! You okay man?" He exclaimed, bending down to help Grissom up. The older man swatted away his hand and put his head between his knees.

"Nick…fine…go away…" he panted.

"No, Griss…you're not fine," Nick insisted, thinking that Grissom was suffering form a heart attack or something, "I'm gonna call an ambulance, okay buddy? Hang in there, boss…"

Grissom's eyes widened and he shook his head, starting to recover.

"No!"

Nick already had the cell phone out and had dialed " 9 – 1 - " when…

"He's okay, you don't need an ambulance…"

Nick turned around to find the source of the voice. Sara stood up from behind Grissom's desk and blushed. Nick looked from Grissom to Sara, then Sara to Grissom, his mouth open.

"Oh…OH!" He said, finally getting what was going on,"Okay, then…um, I'm just gonna leave now…" He said, frowning in an attempt to keep the smirk in. He was failing miserably. Sara bit her lip and just stood there as Nick backed away. He shut the door behind him, and she would have bet Warrick all her money that he high-tailed it out of there.

Grissom slid to the floor, half in still ecstasy, half in embarrassment.

"I told you…" He said, now recovering. Sara went over to him and held out a hand to help him up. He leaned into her, his hot breath tickling her neck.

"We can't **ever **do this again," he said after a moment. She nodded.

"But it was good wasn't it?"

Grissom smiled despite himself and nodded.

_**Very **good...too good. And now Nick knows..._Grissom thought, wondering if all respect that Nick may have had for him was lost. But in true manly fashion, Nick had an odd sense of respect, and probably had _more _if not less, repsect for him now that he knew what had been going on in that office with Sara...

* * *

a/n: lol i have such an odd imagination. but the last part i can so see happening...Nick just being like "oh...OH!" and the lightbulb clicking on. lol... please leave a review! 


	16. Chapter 16

a/n: ta daaa. here's 16. woot. this is getting way ooc but who cares.

* * *

"So. What now?" Grissom asked, sitting across from Sara in her living room.

"I don't know. He knows. God, that was embarrassing…" She said, smiling a little despite herself.

"Embarrassing? It was humiliating, deteriorating, mortifying, degrading--"

"I get it, Gil."

"Yeah, _now _you get it. But in there you wouldn't listen when I said stop," Grissom said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

"Hey, you weren't doing much to stop me," She retorted.

"Well…" Was all Grissom could say.

"Can you imagine what would have happened if I hadn't have seen his shadow?" Sara laughed, rememberingthe frantic seconds it had takenher to dive behind his desk and him having to zip his pants and slide to the floor.

"I don't think it would have made much of a difference. Look at us, two creative CSI's and all we can come up with is faking a heart attack and cowering behind a desk." Grissom chuckled.

"Much of a difference? Well, for one thing he would have seen your--"

"I don't even want to think about that."

Sara burst out laughing and Grissom couldn't help but smile as she curled up in the armchair, her body heaving with laughter.

"How are we finding this funny again?" He asked after she gained a little restraint.

"No idea. I think we should be mad or something, but for some reason I just can't be…It could have been worse. At least it was only Nick. He's probably the best case scenario."

"Best case scenario?" Grissom laughed, "The best case scenario would be that we waited until we got home." Sara rolled her eyes at him.

"I mean if it was anyone else…"

"Yeah, like Ecklie?" He asked, "I even said that!"

"How TV drama -- the boss walking in on the co-workers having office sex…" Sara replied.

"And how real life -- having both of us loose our jobs." Grissom rationalized. She rolled her eyes and stood up, walking behind his armchair and snaking her arms around his neck.

"I suppose we'll just have to pretend that we're in you office from now on." She said softly, kissing his neck.

"Sara, I'm worried."

She stopped kissing his neck and perched on the armrest, watching him.

"I...I don't know if I can do it," He said. He'd been worried about a lot of things concerning a relationship with Sara, be restraint at work hadn't been one.

"Do what?"

"Keep from giving clues at work. It's either I look at you too much or I don't look at you enough. It's in the way I talk to you, the way I touch you, the way I am around you. People are noticing."

"Like Nick noticed?" She joked. He gave up a dry half grin.

"But seriously. We have to work something out." He said, holding one of her hands in his, stroking it with his thumb.

"Yeah," She agreed, her lips twitching into a reassuring smile. Tney just didn't know what to do yet.

* * *

Nick sat on his couch, a beer in one hand, blinking hard every few seconds. Had he _really _just seen that? Sara and Grissom…together…in his office. _Together_. It was sort of gross, thinking about what must have been going on in there, but in an odd way, he was happy for them. If any two deserved each other, it was those two. They made each other happy, and he could tell.

_But, uh, doing that in Grissom's office? _He thought. If he ever expected anyone to be doing that it would be Warrick and Catherine. Or Greg and some random lab rat chick. But NOT Grissom and Sara of all people. He expected to Grissom to be the biggest prude ever…but apparently, contrary to popular belief, Grissom _was _a typical guy. Who had a very attractive girlfriend at that.

_Whoa. Girlfriend? Sara, Grissom's girlfriend…_ Nick thought. _All too weird. I get kidnapped and nearly die; I come back to work, and next thing I know these two are getting it on in my boss's office._

He was still happy for them though. He wanted both to be happy, especially Sara. When he'd seen them come into the hospital room together, he'd hoped that they had had some sort of revelation. Grissom had hurt Sara, which was obvious. But maybe now she'd be happier.

_Anyway,_ Nick thought, _Maybe I'llget best man for keeping my mouth shut…

* * *

_

a/n: review. im too lazy to think of anythign else to say. 


	17. Chapter 17

a/n: well! ive been so busy! no time to update, really. well, actually i did have time to PM TroddenBlack a few times about how i didn;t knwo what to by means of updating, but ya know :P. anyway, i kicked myself and got it done, thanks to TB's lovely guilt trip, which was something along the lines of "everyday without an update is a bottomless pit of despair" ... something like that. anyway, thank you for your encouragement :)...and conversations about the lovely Grissom. oh, and i guess you get props, sparklin-strawberries, for distracting me with thoughts of Grissom and Johnny Cash :P well, here it is!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day/night started off…fine, okay, maybe even well, you could say. Grissom guided the car though late night traffic (his only pet peeve about nightshift) his mind totally void of anything but the sounds of Johnny Cash filtering through his Audi's speakers. Yes, it was true, although Grissom was truly a classical kind of guy, he did enjoy some good old Cash once in a while.

"**_But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,  
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black…" _**

Grissom sang to himself in a deep tenor. He wasn't really thinking about anything at all, for once. For once he was just sitting back and not thinking, letting the cool Vegas breeze waft through the windows, ignoring the sounds of honking horns and impatient people and allowing himself to just _be _before he had to start the work day.

"_**I wear it for the sick and lonely old,  
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,  
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,  
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.**_

_**And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,  
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,  
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,  
Believen' that we all were on their side…"**_

Grissom sang to himself, tapping the steering wheel and nearing the lab. That was when he first caught sight of Nick's car. A wave of realization came over him as he remembered what had happened previously.

_Do I confront him? Do I give him the Patented Grissom 'Death-Glare'? _He thought to himself, unsure of what to do. The guy had walked in out of pure concern and here was Grissom, who was supposed to be the boss letting another co-worker man-handle him. Grissom felt a little shiver of arousal go through him as he remembered Sara's passion after their little spat. Clearing his head, he got out and started the shift.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick stared at the stitching on the well worn in football he often liked to toy with when he had something on his mind. There it was, always in the break room like an old friend just waiting for him. Greg had his iPod, Warrick had his wedding ring, Grissom had his Rubix Cube…Nick's mind suddenly shifted to (he winced) the situstion at hand with Grissom.

_What the hell am I gonna do? How awkward is this? _He thought to himself, but he had no more time to think as Grissom walked into the break room, his steps almost faltering as he caught sight of Nick. His right eyebrow twitched and he dropped his briefcase on the table, turning his back to the younger CSI to 'get some coffee' -- a not so clever attempt to put some space into the quickly shrinking bubble of confrontation. Nick cleared his throat and opened his mouth, hoping that whatever was about to come out was gonna be good.

"Griss, listen. I--" He started. Grissom didn't turn, but held up a hand. He really didn't need Nick to see the crimson colour of his face right now. He was about to say something when Warrick walked in, immediately finding the pressure in there like a submarine 10,000 feet deep.

"Ughhh…Hey…" Was all Warrick could muster, wondering what was going on. Grissom, thankful of the interruption, took his coffee and briefcase and made of his office. Before he left, though, he stopped in the threshold of the doorway and said,

"It's too early for this kind of thing, Nicky."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By some twisted form of fate, Nick was forced to work a case with Grissom that night. The awkwardness was still pretty strong, so Nick immediately offered to take the perimeter. They worked separately for a few hours, then meeting to go back to the lab. As Grissom started the car, Nick stared at the older man, suddenly reminded of his own awkward predicament.

"_You told me you weren't dating her." Grissom had said, slightly disappointed in him. Nick had been with Kristy Hopkins the previous night, and then he'd gone to her house that morning to find it surrounded by cop cruisers. She'd been murdered. _

"…_and I can tell you what he's going to find. My fingerprints; my DNA."_

_And just like that, Grissom was right in his personal life, with no choice in the matter. Grissom knew what had gone on, and although slightly disappointed, he'd been understanding._

"_I can't just sit here," Nick had said. Grissom had nodded calmly, then gotten that familiar creative-genius look in his eye._

"_Okay. Go for a walk. Maybe you'll 'accidentally' bump into your guy, "Jack" ?"_

And like that, Grissom had forgiven him, understood him, and helped him. When Nick had been in that box, he'd said on that tape that he'd disappointed Grissom. Maybe now was his chance to redeem himself and return the favor. Nick started thinking about what he was going to do. After all, he owed the man his life...and he had the feeling that if provoked with the right evidence, Grissom was completely able to take it away again...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When they got back to the lab, they started unloading evidence onto the evidence table in silence, Grissom avoiding eye contact. He really didn't want to do this, but it had to be done_…Maybe I'll just retire now…Sara and I can go live in San Fran, and I can teach there, forget about all of this…_Grissom thought wistfully.

"Hey Griss?" Came Nick's voice, penetrating the walls of his thoughts. _It's time. No avoiding it now. _Grissom sighed, taking off his glasses with one hand, the other supporting him as he leaned against the table.

"Nick, I…I don't--" Grissom started.

"It's a cold case." Nick said loudly and firmly, like his words were stone.

"What?" Grissom said, staring straight at him. God, he wanted to get this over and done with. _What the hell is he on about?_

"I think that this is one of those cases…Cold cases. They're put away in a safe place until the right time. Until the boss says we need to take them out. And, uh…you're the boss, Grissom."

Grissom kept staring at him for a moment, as if trying to read him with his eyes. Then, after what seemed like forever, he seemed satisfied and Grissom's mouth twitched up and he blinked slowly. He nodded and let out a breath of relief.

"Good man, Nicky. Good man."

And that was all he said. But those words meant so much. Grissom knew that his secret was safe with his CSI. The two men had some sort of weird connection of understanding at that moment, and Nick finally knew that he'd gained his mentor's approval.

"Just returning the favor, boss."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: no idea where its going from here, but it'll come, it'll come! thanks for sticking with me! please review it!


End file.
